Ever felt like you're spinning your wheels, wanting more out of life but not quite sure how to get there? I know I have. For years I felt stuck, battling bad habits and a mindset that kept me from real, lasting change. But what I learned is that success, whatever that means to you, often starts not with a giant leap but with small, powerful shifts in how we think.
I’ve been through my own share of struggles. I battled gaming addiction, binge eating, and a general sense of laziness that held me back. It took a lot of effort but I managed to turn things around. I lost over 110 pounds and found a lifestyle that’s balanced and healthy. It wasn’t an overnight miracle. It was a journey of changing my mind first. So, I want to share some mindset shifts that truly helped me, and I believe they can help you too.
1. From "I Can't" to "How Can I?"
This simple switch in language is huge. "I can't" shuts down possibilities. "How can I?" opens your mind to solutions. When I first thought about losing weight or quitting gaming, "I can't" was my go-to. It felt too big, too hard. Changing that to "How can I lose the first five pounds?" or "How can I reduce gaming by one hour today?" made it approachable. It turns a wall into a series of steps.
2. Embrace Progress Not Perfection
This one was a game-changer for me, especially with my weight loss. I used to think I had to be perfect. One slip-up with food and I'd feel like a total failure, often giving up for days. But losing over 110 pounds wasn't about a perfect diet or never missing a workout. It was about consistently making better choices, not always perfect choices. Celebrate the small wins. If you aimed for a 30-minute walk and only did 15, that’s still 15 minutes more than zero. Progress, my friend. That’s the goal.
3. See Setbacks as Stepping Stones
Nobody likes to fail. But what if we saw setbacks not as dead ends but as detours that teach us something? When I was trying to break free from unhealthy habits, there were plenty of times I stumbled. Instead of beating myself up, I started asking: What can I learn from this? What triggered that old behavior? How can I handle it differently next time? Each setback became a lesson that made me stronger and smarter for the next attempt.
4. Choose Long-Term Fulfillment Over Short-Term Fixes
Our brains love instant gratification. That extra slice of cake, one more hour of gaming, hitting snooze again. It feels good right now. But those quick fixes often sabotage our bigger goals. I had to learn to ask myself: Will this choice serve the person I want to become? Trading that fleeting pleasure for the deep satisfaction of achieving a hard-won goal, like better health or more productive days, is incredibly rewarding. It takes practice but it's worth it.
5. Focus on What You Control
So much in life is outside our control. The weather, other people's actions, unexpected events. Worrying about these things drains our energy. Instead, pour that energy into what you can control: your attitude, your effort, your choices, your responses. When I stopped obsessing over how quickly the weight was coming off (something not entirely in my control) and focused on my daily food choices and exercise (things I could control), I felt more empowered and less anxious.
6. From "I Have To" to "I Get To"
How we frame things matters. Do you "have to" work out, or do you "get to" move your body and improve your health? Do you "have to" work on your project, or do you "get to" use your skills and create something? This shift changes tasks from burdens to opportunities. It brings a sense of gratitude into the everyday. I found that saying "I get to eat nutritious food that fuels my body" felt a lot better than "I have to stick to this diet."
7. Be Your Own Benchmark
It’s so easy to look at others and compare. Their success, their progress, their seemingly perfect lives. But comparison truly is the thief of joy. Your journey is yours alone. Your starting point is different. Your challenges are different. The only person you should compare yourself to is who you were yesterday. Are you making small improvements? Are you learning and growing? That’s what counts. This helped me stay focused on my path without getting discouraged by what others were doing.
8. Embrace Discomfort for Growth
Real talk: change is often uncomfortable. Stepping outside your comfort zone, breaking old habits, learning new skills – it can feel awkward and difficult. I remember how hard it was to say no to late-night snacks or to push myself to start a work task when I felt lazy. But that discomfort is where growth happens. It’s a sign you’re stretching yourself. Lean into it a little each day. You’ll be amazed at what you can adapt to and overcome.
9. Practice Daily Gratitude
This sounds simple, maybe even a bit cliché, but it’s powerful. When I started consciously looking for things to be thankful for each day, even small things, my whole outlook began to shift. It's easy to focus on what's wrong or what we lack. Gratitude trains your brain to see the good. It doesn't mean ignoring problems, but it does mean acknowledging the blessings too. For me, this became a cornerstone of a more positive and resilient mindset, especially when things felt tough.
Here are a few simple ways to invite more gratitude into your day:
- Before you get out of bed, think of one thing you're thankful for.
- Keep a small notebook and jot down a few things at the end of the day.
- Make it a point to genuinely thank someone.
10. Find a Deeper "Why"
Surface-level goals can keep us going for a while. But when things get really tough, we need a deeper reason to persevere. For me, trying to strengthen my Christian Orthodox faith and build a closer relationship with God has provided a profound sense of purpose. It’s not just about losing weight or being productive anymore. It's about living a life that aligns with deeper values, serving something beyond myself. Your "why" might be different. It could be your family, your community, or a deep-seated desire to make a difference. Find what truly drives you.
Changing your mindset isn't about becoming a completely different person overnight. It's about making small, intentional adjustments in how you view yourself, your challenges, and the world around you. These shifts, practiced consistently, can lead to incredible transformations.
So, here’s a little something to think about: Which one of these mindset shifts resonates with you the most right now? And what’s one tiny step you can take today to start practicing it?
You’ve got this.
