Change used to feel like an enemy I could never defeat.
It was a constant reminder of everything I wasn't. Stuck in a cycle of binge eating, gaming for hours, and avoiding my responsibilities, I felt trapped. The thought of making a real change was so overwhelming it felt easier to just give up. I looked at my life and saw a mountain I couldn't climb. Maybe you feel that way too. You see where you are and where you want to be, and the distance between those two points feels impossible.
I’m here to tell you it’s not. I eventually lost over 110 pounds and broke free from habits that were destroying me. It wasn't one giant, heroic leap. It was a series of small, intentional steps. Change isn't an enemy. It's a path you learn to walk one step at a time. If you’re ready to start walking, here are the 10 steps that helped me find my footing and can help you too.
Acknowledge the Fear, Then Act Anyway
Let’s be honest. Change is scary. Your brain loves comfort and predictability even if that comfort is making you miserable. The first step isn’t to pretend you’re not afraid. It’s to look that fear in the eye and say, "I see you, but I'm moving forward anyway." Confidence doesn't come from a lack of fear. It comes from taking action despite it. Your courage is found in the doing, not in the waiting.
Know Your 'Why'
Change for the sake of change rarely sticks. You need a deep, personal reason to push through the hard days. For me, my "why" became about more than just losing weight. It became about honoring the body God gave me. It was about wanting to be strong and present for the people I love. It was about building a life that had purpose beyond the next meal or the next level in a video game. What is your 'why'? Write it down. Put it somewhere you can see it. When your motivation fades, your purpose will be your anchor.
Start Incredibly Small
You don't climb a mountain by jumping to the top. You take one step. Then another. When I wanted to get healthy, I didn’t immediately start training for a marathon. My first step was just drinking a glass of water instead of a soda. That's it. Instead of trying to fix everything at once, pick the smallest possible action you can take toward your goal. One push-up. Reading one page of a book. Making your bed. A small win builds momentum.
Build a Simple Routine
Our lives are built on routines, good or bad. The key is to intentionally build a good one. Don’t try to plan every minute of your day. That’s a recipe for burnout. I found my sweet spot with short bursts of deep work. I focus completely for just 2–4 hours a day. That’s when I get my most important work done. The rest of the day has structure but also flexibility. A simple, repeatable routine creates a framework for success. It automates good decisions so you don't have to rely on willpower alone.
Focus on One Change at a Time
I didn’t overcome all my bad habits at once. I tried that before and failed every single time. It's too much. Instead, I picked one battle. First, I focused on my eating. Once I had some control there, I started adding light exercise. Later, I worked on my screen time. When you focus your energy on one target, you dramatically increase your chances of hitting it. Master one change, then move to the next.
Find Your People (and Your Foundation)
You can't do this alone. Share your goals with a trusted friend or family member who will support you. You need people who will cheer you on when you succeed and offer a hand when you stumble. For me, the most important foundation has been my faith. Knowing that God is with me, that He offers grace when I fail and strength when I am weak, has been my ultimate support system. It gives me a rock to stand on when everything else feels shaky.
Celebrate the Small Victories
When your goal is huge, like losing 110 pounds, it's easy to feel like you're getting nowhere. That's why celebrating small wins is so important. It retrains your brain to look for progress, not perfection. This was a game-changer for me. I made a point to acknowledge every small step forward.
My celebrations weren't huge parties. They were simple moments of recognition. For example:
- Choosing to go for a walk instead of playing a game.
- Losing the first five pounds.
- Saying no to a second helping of dessert.
- Waking up early to pray for a whole week.
- Finishing a project without getting distracted.
Each small win proves to yourself that you can do it. It builds real, earned confidence.
Give Yourself Grace, Not Excuses
You will mess up. You will have bad days. You will fall back into an old habit. It’s guaranteed. The difference between success and failure is what you do next. An excuse says, "I ate that cake, so the whole day is ruined. I'll just start again Monday." Grace says, "I ate that cake. That wasn't the plan, but I can make my next meal a healthy one." Don't let one mistake derail your entire journey. Acknowledge it, learn from it, and get right back on track.
Replace, Don't Just Remove
It's hard to get rid of a bad habit by leaving a void. If you just stop doing something, you'll feel its absence. The better way is to replace the bad habit with a good one. When I stopped gaming for hours, I needed something to fill that time. I replaced it with reading, listening to sermons, calling a friend, or going for a walk. When you feel the urge for the old habit, have a positive replacement ready to go.
Anchor Yourself in Gratitude
It's easy to focus on what's wrong. Gratitude flips the script. It forces you to see the good that is already in your life. Every morning, I take a moment to thank God for a few specific things. It could be as simple as the sun shining or a good night's sleep. This simple practice changes my entire outlook. It shifts my focus from what I lack to what I have. A grateful heart is a powerful ally in the journey of change. It builds resilience and keeps you grounded in what truly matters.
Change doesn't have to be your enemy. It can be the greatest adventure of your life. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. You have the strength to take the next step.
So, let me ask you: What is one incredibly small step you can take today?
