Have you ever felt stuck? Like there’s an invisible wall holding you back, even when you know you’re capable of more? I’ve been there, trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and unhealthy habits. It’s a tough place, but I’ve learned that the biggest walls are often the ones we build ourselves with self-limiting beliefs.
For years, I told myself I was just "that guy." The guy who loved gaming too much, who couldn't resist another binge, who always found an excuse to be lazy. These beliefs were so deeply ingrained that they felt like facts. But they weren't facts. They were just stories I kept telling myself, and those stories kept me from living the life I truly wanted.
The good news? You don't have to stay stuck. We all carry these beliefs, whether we realize it or not. The journey to overcoming them isn't always easy, but it’s incredibly rewarding. I’ve seen it firsthand, going from being trapped by habits to finding a balanced, healthy life, losing over 110 pounds, and building a routine that actually serves me. It all started with recognizing those internal whispers and deciding to challenge them.
If you’re ready to start writing a new story for yourself, here are 10 steps that helped me, and I believe they can help you too.
1. Identify Your Beliefs
First, you need to know what you’re up against. What are those thoughts that hold you back? Maybe it’s "I'm not good enough," "I'll always be this way," or "I can't change." Write them down. Be honest. For me, it was "I can't stop playing games," or "I'm not strong enough to resist that food." These were the beliefs I had to first name.
2. Question the Evidence
Once you identify a belief, ask yourself: Is this really true? What proof do I have? Often, these beliefs are based on old experiences, fears, or assumptions, not current reality. When I thought I couldn't stop gaming, I asked myself, "Have I really tried everything? Or am I just assuming?" Often, the evidence supporting these beliefs is shaky at best.
3. See the Cost
What do these beliefs cost you? What opportunities are you missing? What kind of life are they preventing you from living? This was a powerful step for me. I realized that my belief that I "couldn't stop drinking" was costing me my health, my energy, and my peace of mind. My laziness belief was costing me growth and joy. Seeing the real price tag made me hungry for change.
4. Redefine Your Identity
Instead of saying "I am (insert limiting belief here)," start asking, "Who do I want to be?" This isn't about faking it. It's about consciously choosing a new self-image. When I decided to lose weight, I stopped seeing myself as "the heavy guy" and started seeing myself as someone committed to health and strength. That shift in identity changed everything. It took time, but the intention was there from the start.
5. Start Small
Don't try to tackle everything at once. Pick one small area to start. If you want to build a new routine, don't aim for a perfect 8-hour workday immediately. Aim for 30 minutes of focused work. When I first started building a productive routine, I began with short bursts of deep work—just 2-4 hours. It felt manageable and built confidence.
6. Take Action, Even Imperfectly
The biggest enemy of progress is often perfectionism. Don’t wait until you feel 100% ready or know exactly what to do. Just start. Take one small step. Maybe it’s going for a 15-minute walk, or reading one chapter of a book, or saying "no" to one unhealthy craving. Action creates momentum, and momentum erodes old beliefs.
7. Celebrate Every Small Win
This step is huge. Most of us wait for big, dramatic changes to celebrate. But true transformation happens through a series of tiny victories. When I was losing over 110 pounds, I celebrated every pound, every healthy meal, every workout I completed. These small wins built up, showing me that I could do it. It reinforced my new identity and silenced those old doubts.
8. Practice Gratitude
Shift your focus from what you lack or what you can’t do to what you have and what you can do. Daily gratitude can reframe your perspective and open your mind to possibilities. I make it a point to practice daily gratitude. Even on tough days, finding something small to be thankful for helps me see the blessings and feel more capable.
9. Lean on Your Faith
For me, finding true purpose and overcoming deep-seated habits meant drawing closer to God through my Orthodox Christian faith. It wasn't about quick fixes or a sudden burst of emotion. It was about consistent prayer, seeking guidance, and understanding that I am not alone in this journey. My faith became the unshakeable foundation when old beliefs tried to creep back. Trusting in God's plan and strength gave me a peace that helped me break free from drinking, smoking, and other destructive patterns. He provides the strength we often lack on our own.
10. Keep Going
Overcoming self-limiting beliefs is not a one-time event; it’s a journey. There will be good days and challenging days. You might slip up, and that’s okay. The key is to not give up. Get back up, learn from it, and keep moving forward. I’m still learning, still growing, and still challenging new beliefs that pop up. That’s just part of being human.
You have immense strength within you, often more than you realize. Your beliefs shape your reality, but you have the power to reshape your beliefs. What’s one small step you can take today to challenge a self-limiting belief?
