I used to think big goals were just for other people.
Seriously. I’d look at my life—stuck in a cycle of gaming, overeating, and just plain laziness—and the idea of achieving anything significant felt like a joke. Change seemed impossible. But I learned that the journey from where you are to where you want to be isn’t about one giant leap. It’s about taking small, intentional steps over and over again.
If you feel stuck right now, I get it. I’ve been there. But I promise you, you have what it takes to change. It’s not about finding some secret formula. It’s about learning a few simple techniques that work for you. Here are ten that helped me completely transform my life.
1. Find Your Deep "Why"
Before you set any goal, you have to ask yourself why you want it. And I mean the real why. "I want to lose weight" isn't a deep why. "I want to have the energy to play with my kids without getting tired and be healthy enough to see them grow up"… now that’s a why. Your why is your fuel. When you feel like quitting, it’s the one thing that will keep you going. For me, a lot of my "why" became about honoring God with the body and mind He gave me. It shifted everything from a selfish desire to a meaningful purpose.
2. Write It Down. Make It Real.
A goal that only exists in your head is just a dream. When you write it down on paper, it becomes something real. Tangible. It’s a declaration to yourself that you’re serious. Put it somewhere you’ll see it every day. On your bathroom mirror, on your desk, as your phone’s background. Don’t just type it in a notes app and forget it. Use a pen and paper. There’s something powerful about that physical act.
3. Break It Into Tiny Pieces
Big goals are terrifying. The idea of losing over 110 pounds felt completely impossible. I couldn't even imagine it. So I didn’t focus on it. My goal was never to lose 110 pounds. It was to lose one pound. And how do you lose one pound? You make a slightly better choice today. Maybe you go for a 10-minute walk. Or you swap one soda for water. Break your big, scary goal into the smallest possible steps. What is the absolute tiniest action you can take right now? Do that.
4. Focus on the System, Not Just the Goal
Goals are about the result, but systems are about the process. The result is out of your control sometimes, but the process is yours to own.
- The goal is to lose 50 pounds. The system is walking 20 minutes every morning and eating one home-cooked meal a day.
- The goal is to write a book. The system is writing 300 words every day.
Forget the goal for a minute and fall in love with your system. The results will follow.
5. Schedule Your Actions
If it’s not in your calendar, it doesn’t exist. Don’t just say, "I'll work out more this week." Schedule it. "Tuesday, 7:00 AM: 20-minute walk." "Thursday, 6:00 PM: Gym." Treat these appointments with the same respect you’d give a doctor's appointment or a meeting with your boss. I built my entire productive routine this way. I don't grind for 8 hours. I schedule 2–4 hours of focused, deep work and I protect that time fiercely.
6. Start With Just One Goal
When I first wanted to change, I wanted to fix everything at once. I’ll quit smoking, stop binge eating, start exercising, and wake up at 5 AM all at the same time! You can guess how that went. I failed miserably and felt even worse. Your willpower is a limited resource. Pick one area of your life. One single goal. And pour all your energy into that. Once that new habit is solid, you can move on to the next one.
7. Celebrate the Small Wins
This is huge. When you’re on a long journey, you need to acknowledge your progress along the way. Did you stick to your plan for a whole week? Celebrate it. Maybe treat yourself to a new book or an hour of guilt-free relaxation. Celebrating small wins builds momentum. It proves to your brain that you can do this, which makes it easier to keep going. I celebrated every 5 pounds I lost. It kept me motivated for the long haul.
8. Find an Accountability Partner
Tell someone you trust about your goal. A close friend, a family member, someone from your church community. It's not about them nagging you. It's about knowing someone else is in your corner. A simple text like, "Hey, just checking in. How did your walk go today?" can make all the difference. It’s much harder to quit when you know you’ll be talking to someone about it.
9. Define What Failure Looks Like (and Plan for It)
This might sound negative, but it's incredibly practical. You are going to have bad days. You will mess up. You will skip a workout or eat a whole pizza. It’s going to happen. Instead of hoping it won’t, plan for it. Decide right now what you will do the day after you slip up. The rule should be simple: Never miss twice. Ate poorly today? Fine. Tomorrow, your very next meal is a healthy one. Skipped the gym? Fine. You go tomorrow, even if it's just for 15 minutes. One bad day doesn't ruin your progress. Quitting does.
10. Connect Your Goals to Your Faith
For me, as an Orthodox Christian, this became the most important technique of all. I had to ask if my goals were just about my own pride or if they served a higher purpose.
- Is my goal to get fit just for vanity? Or is it to have a healthy body so I can have more energy to serve my family, my community, and God?
- Is my goal to be more productive just to make more money? Or is it to be a better steward of the time and talents God has given me?
When your goals are tied to your faith, they take on a whole new meaning. They become an act of worship, not just an act of self-improvement. Your strength doesn't just come from you anymore. It comes from prayer and from trusting that God is with you in the struggle.
Changing your life isn't easy, but it is simple. It’s about showing up, even when you don’t feel like it, and taking that next small step.
So, let me ask you: What is the one small step you can take today?
