I used to think patience was something other people were born with, not something I could actually build.
Honestly, if patience were a class, I probably would have tried to skip it. For a long time, I was the king of wanting things now. Whether it was results from a new diet, progress in a project, or even just waiting for a slow computer to load, my internal fuse felt incredibly short. Sound familiar? We live in a world that screams for instant gratification. It’s no wonder many of us struggle. But here’s the good news: patience isn’t some magical trait. It’s a skill. Like any skill, we can get better at it with practice. Learning this was a game-changer for me. It was especially true when I was battling unhealthy habits and trying to lose over 110 pounds. It wasn't about a sudden burst of willpower. It was about patiently showing up day after day.
Why Bother With Patience Anyway?
Before we dive into the "how," let's quickly touch on the "why." Patience helps us make better decisions. It reduces stress and frustration. It improves our relationships because we become better listeners and more understanding. And honestly, it just makes life feel a bit smoother. When I was deep in my struggles with binge eating and laziness, impatience fueled the fire. I wanted quick fixes. When they didn't happen, I'd give up. Patience taught me the power of consistency even when progress felt slow.
12 Ways to Build More Patience
Alright, let's get practical. Here are some ways I’ve learned to find a little more patience in my daily life. None of these are instant fixes. But they genuinely help over time.
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Know Your Flashpoints
What makes you instantly lose your cool? Is it slow traffic? A particular person? Technology glitches? Identifying these triggers is the first step. When you know what sets you off, you can prepare for it. Sometimes you can even avoid it. -
Take a Sacred Pause
When you feel that familiar frustration bubbling up, just stop. Take a slow, deep breath. For me, this is a moment to silently ask God for calm. It’s not about emptying my mind. It’s about inviting His peace into the chaos of the moment. Just a few seconds can create enough space to respond better. -
Change Your Viewpoint
Sometimes impatience comes from a narrow perspective. Try to see the situation differently. Is there a lesson here? Is this really as big a deal as it feels right now? Could this delay be a blessing in disguise? Shifting your focus can really diffuse frustration. -
Break It Down
Huge tasks or long waits feel overwhelming. That’s when impatience loves to strike. If you have a big goal, like losing a significant amount of weight as I did, thinking about the total is daunting. Instead, focus on the next small step. The next healthy meal. The next short workout. Celebrating those tiny wins builds momentum and patience for the long haul. This also helped me build a productive routine with short bursts of deep work. -
Keep Expectations Real
We often get impatient because our expectations are out of whack. This applies to ourselves, others, and how quickly things "should" happen. Try to set realistic goals and timelines. Life rarely goes exactly to plan. -
Really Listen
How often are we impatient in conversations because we’re just waiting for our turn to talk? Practice active listening. Focus on what the other person is saying, not just on your reply. It shows respect. Surprisingly, it can make you feel more patient. -
Embrace the 'Good Enough'
Perfectionism is a patience killer. If you’re always waiting for things to be perfect, you’ll always be waiting. Sometimes "good enough" is truly good enough. This was a hard lesson for me. Accepting imperfection freed up so much mental energy. -
Create a Quick, Healthy Detour
When you feel impatience rising, have a go-to healthy distraction. This isn't about avoiding the issue long-term. It's about creating a brief circuit breaker. Get up and stretch. Drink a glass of water. Say a quick prayer. Look out the window for a minute. Anything to shift your immediate focus. -
Walk in Their Shoes
Impatience with others often comes from a lack of understanding. Try to consider their perspective. What might they be going through? A little empathy can go a long way in dissolving irritation. -
Ask for It
This one is simple but powerful, especially if you share a faith like I do. Pray for patience. Seriously. Ask God to help you grow in this area. It’s a prayer He loves to answer. Though sometimes the answer comes in the form of more opportunities to practice! Finding purpose through a closer relationship with God has been key for me here. -
Notice Your Wins
When you do manage to stay patient in a tough situation, acknowledge it. Give yourself a little credit. Recognizing your progress, no matter how small, reinforces the behavior. I learned this when I was building better habits. Celebrating that I resisted a craving or stuck to my routine for one more day was huge. -
Look Back at Your Journey
Think about times in the past when patience paid off. Maybe it was learning a new skill, working through a difficult project, or mending a relationship. Remembering how you got through challenges before can give you strength and perspective for current frustrations. For me, looking back at overcoming addictions like gaming and smoking reminds me that slow, patient progress is real and lasting.
Patience is a Journey, Not a Destination
Building patience isn’t about becoming a perfectly calm saint overnight. Trust me, I still have my moments! It’s about making a conscious effort one small step at a time. It's about choosing a thoughtful response over a knee-jerk reaction. It’s about giving yourself and others a bit more grace.
When I finally started to see real change in my life – shedding those 110 pounds, breaking free from years of bad habits, and building a life with purpose – it wasn’t because I suddenly became a different person. It was because I slowly, patiently, learned to show up for myself even when it was hard. My faith played a huge part too. It reminded me that God’s timing is perfect even when mine feels way off.
So, where can you practice a little more patience this week? Maybe it’s in the grocery store line, with a family member, or even with yourself as you work towards a goal. Don’t aim for perfection. Just aim for a little bit better. What’s one small way you can start today?
