I used to think I had all the answers.
Seriously. In my mind, I was the expert on my own life, even when it was a complete mess. I was stuck in a cycle of gaming addiction, binge eating, and laziness, but I told myself I had it under control. Pride is a quiet poison. It convinces you that you’re the king of your own little broken kingdom and that asking for help is a sign of weakness.
It took losing over 110 pounds and completely rebuilding my life to understand a powerful truth: humility isn’t weakness. It’s freedom. It’s the key that unlocks real growth, genuine connection, and a sense of peace I never thought was possible. It’s about letting go of the heavy burden of having to be right all the time.
If you’re tired of being weighed down by your own ego, I get it. I’ve been there. The good news is that building humility isn’t some abstract concept. It’s a series of small, practical actions you can start today.
The Foundation of a Good Existence
Humility is the bedrock of a strong character. It’s not about thinking less of yourself; it’s about thinking of yourself less. When you clear out the noise of your own pride, you make room for better things to grow—like gratitude, wisdom, and a real connection with God and others. Here are some steps that have helped me on my journey.
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Listen more than you speak. It’s simple but incredibly hard. The next time you’re in a conversation, focus on truly hearing what the other person is saying instead of just waiting for your turn to talk. You’ll be amazed at what you learn.
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Admit when you’re wrong. Say the words: “You were right” or “I made a mistake.” It feels tough at first, but it instantly disarms conflict and builds trust. It shows you value the truth more than your ego.
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Ask for help. You don’t have to carry everything alone. Asking for help is a sign of strength and self-awareness. It shows you know your limits and respect the skills of others.
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Celebrate other people’s success. When a friend or coworker achieves something great, be their biggest cheerleader. Envy comes from pride. Genuine joy for others comes from a humble heart.
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Serve someone in secret. Do something helpful for someone without any chance of getting credit. Take out the office trash, leave a kind note, or say a prayer for them. Do it for the act itself, not for the recognition.
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Learn a new skill you’re bad at. I had to do this when I started my health journey. I knew how to eat poorly and be sedentary. I knew nothing about nutrition or exercise. I had to become a complete beginner and accept that I was clumsy and clueless. It was humbling and it was necessary. Being bad at something reminds you what it’s like to learn.
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Spend time with people who are different from you. Interact with people from different backgrounds, ages, and walks of life. It broadens your perspective and challenges the idea that your way of seeing the world is the only way.
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Practice daily gratitude. Every day, I take a moment to thank God for three specific things. It could be as simple as the sun shining or a good cup of coffee. This practice completely changed my mindset. It shifted my focus from what I lacked to the immense blessings I already had. Gratitude reminds us that everything we have is a gift.
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Accept feedback gracefully. When someone offers you criticism, resist the urge to get defensive. Your first reaction might be to fight back. Instead, just say “Thank you for telling me that. I’ll think about it.” Feedback is a gift that helps you see your blind spots.
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Reflect on your own flaws. This isn’t about self-hatred. It’s about honest self-assessment. In the Orthodox tradition, we call this repentance—not just feeling sorry, but actively turning away from our faults and toward God. Acknowledge where you fall short. It keeps you grounded.
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Read the lives of the Saints. This has been huge for my faith. Reading about men and women who fought immense spiritual battles and found profound humility is both inspiring and grounding. It shows you what a life dedicated to God, not self, truly looks like.
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Pray simply. When I first started trying to strengthen my faith, I thought my prayers had to be long and eloquent. Now, I find the most powerful prayers are the simplest. A heartfelt “Lord, have mercy” or “Thank you, God” is more meaningful than a thousand fancy words. It puts God in charge, not you.
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Do the “small” jobs. Volunteer for the tasks nobody else wants. Clean the bathroom. Make the coffee. These unglamorous jobs chip away at our pride, which tells us we are “too important” for such things. No one is too important.
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Forgive quickly. Holding onto a grudge is an act of pride. It’s saying “You hurt me, and I am entitled to this anger.” Forgiveness is a humble act of letting go. It frees you far more than it frees the other person.
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Remember you are mortal. A classic Christian practice is "memento mori"—remember your death. It sounds grim, but it's incredibly clarifying. Remembering that our time here is short and that we will all stand before God puts our daily frustrations and ego-driven dramas into perspective. It helps us focus on what truly matters.
Your First Humble Step
Building humility is a lifelong journey, not a destination. You won’t master it overnight, and I certainly haven’t. I still catch my pride flaring up all the time. But every small choice to listen, to serve, or to admit I’m wrong is a step in the right direction. It’s a step toward peace, strength, and a more authentic existence.
So, I’ll ask you: What is one small, humble step you can take today?
