My heart pounded in my chest and my hands started to shake.
That familiar feeling of panic used to run my life. Whether it was a tough conversation, a work deadline, or the overwhelming pressure to fix my unhealthy habits, my first instinct was to crumble. For years I was trapped in a cycle of binge eating, drinking, and laziness. The pressure to change felt like a mountain I could never climb, and every time I tried and failed, the anxiety got worse.
I know what it’s like to feel like you’re about to break. But I also know it’s possible to find your footing, even when the ground feels like it’s shaking. It didn’t happen overnight. It happened through small, consistent steps and finding a strength I didn’t know I had. I want to share what I’ve learned with you, friend to friend.
First, Understand the Feeling
Before we dive in, let’s get one thing straight. Feeling pressure is not a sign of weakness. It’s a human response to a challenge. It’s your body and mind telling you that something important is happening. The secret isn’t to eliminate the feeling entirely. The secret is learning how to respond to it instead of just reacting. Your goal is to be the one in control, not the anxiety.
15 Ways I Stay Calm When the Pressure Is On
Over time, I've built a toolkit of simple, practical strategies that help me stay centered. These aren't magic tricks but real actions you can take when you feel that wave of panic rising.
-
The Breathing Reset. This is my first line of defense. Don't overthink it. Just breathe in slowly for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, and breathe out for four seconds. Repeat this a few times. It’s a simple, physical action that tells your body it’s okay to slow down.
-
The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Trick. When your mind is racing, bring it back to the present. Look around and name five things you can see. Then, four things you can physically feel. Three things you can hear. Two things you can smell. And one thing you can taste. It pulls you out of your head and back into reality.
-
A Moment of Prayer. This is my anchor. When everything feels chaotic, I take a quiet moment to talk to God. It doesn't have to be a long, formal prayer. Sometimes it’s just, "Lord, give me strength," or "Help me find peace in this moment." It reminds me that I’m not alone and that my strength comes from something greater than my circumstances.
-
Move Your Body. Get up and walk around the room. Do a few simple stretches. Go outside for a minute if you can. Releasing physical tension helps release mental tension.
-
Change Your View. Literally. If you’re staring at a screen, look out a window for a minute. If you’re in a tense room, step into the hallway. A small change in your physical environment can create a surprising amount of mental space.
-
Find the One Next Step. High-pressure situations often feel like a hundred things are happening at once. Don’t try to solve everything. Just ask yourself: "What is the very next thing I need to do?" Focus only on that one small, manageable action.
-
Put on Some Music. Music can shift your mood instantly. I have a playlist of calm instrumental music or worship songs that I turn to when I need to block out the noise and focus.
-
Phone a Friend. Don’t carry the weight by yourself. Call a trusted friend, family member, or mentor. Just saying the words out loud to someone who cares can take away so much of their power.
-
Prepare for Battle. If you know a stressful situation is coming, like a big presentation or a difficult talk, prepare for it. Practice what you’ll say. Think through possible outcomes. Preparation builds confidence and leaves less room for panic.
-
Let Go of Perfect. This was a huge lesson for me on my journey to losing over 110 pounds. I used to think I had to be perfect. One slip-up, and I’d feel like a total failure. I learned that progress is what matters. The same is true in any situation. You don’t have to handle it perfectly. Just handle it.
-
Focus on Your Circle of Control. I spent years trying to control things I couldn’t, like my cravings for junk food or my desire to be lazy. The real change happened when I focused on what I could control: my response. In a high-pressure situation, you can’t control what other people do or say. You can’t control the outcome. But you can always control your own actions, your own words, and your own integrity. Focus there.
-
Remind Yourself of the Truth. Your anxious mind will tell you lies. "You can't do this." "You're going to fail." Counter it with truth. Remind yourself of times you’ve overcome challenges before. Remind yourself of your core values and, for me, of God’s promises.
-
Drink a Glass of Water. It’s so simple, but it works. The physical act of sipping cold water can be calming and give you a moment to pause before you respond.
-
Do a Brain Dump. Grab a piece of paper and write down everything that’s swirling in your head. All the fears, the what-ifs, the to-do lists. Getting it out of your mind and onto paper makes it feel less overwhelming and more manageable.
-
Look at the Big Picture. Ask yourself, "Will this matter in a week? A month? Five years?" Often, the things that feel monumental in the moment are just small bumps in the road when you zoom out. This helps put the pressure into perspective.
It’s a Journey, Not a Destination
Learning to stay calm is a skill, just like anything else. I still have moments where my heart starts to pound. The difference is that now, I don’t let that feeling take over. I have tools in my back pocket. I know how to find my footing again.
Be patient with yourself. Some days will be easier than others. The goal isn’t to become a robot who never feels stress. The goal is to become someone who knows how to navigate it with grace and strength. You have that in you. I promise.
So, here’s my question for you: The next time you feel that pressure building, which one of these will you try first?
Pick just one. Start small. You’ve got this.
