Marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts, but nobody ever said it would be easy.
Let’s be honest. Some days, marriage feels more like a battlefield than a sanctuary. It takes work. Real, intentional, roll-up-your-sleeves work. I know what it feels like to be stuck. For years, I struggled with all sorts of unhealthy habits—from gaming addiction to binge eating and laziness. I felt like I was failing at everything, and change seemed impossible.
But when I finally surrendered and started seeking a closer relationship with God, everything began to shift. The same principles that helped me lose over 110 pounds and build a purposeful life are the exact same ones that build a strong, lasting marriage. It all comes down to small, consistent choices made with a heart for God.
If you’re looking to strengthen your marriage, you’re in the right place. Here are 20 practical tips to help you build a marriage that not only survives but thrives.
The Foundation: Putting God First
The strongest marriages are built on the rock of Jesus Christ. When He is your foundation, your marriage can withstand any storm.
- Pray together every day. It doesn’t have to be long or formal. Just hold hands and talk to God together. It changes the atmosphere of your home and your hearts.
- Read the Bible together. Pick a Proverb a day or a chapter from the Gospels. Hearing God's Word together aligns your spirits and gives you shared wisdom.
- Put God first, not your spouse. This sounds backward, but it’s true. When you both love God more than you love each other, you are free to love each other without expectation or pressure.
- Forgive quickly. Don't let bitterness take root. Ephesians 4:26 says, "do not let the sun go down on your anger." Deal with issues, forgive as Christ forgave you, and move on.
- Serve one another. Look for small ways to make your spouse's life easier. Make them coffee. Take out the trash without being asked. Small acts of service say "I love you" in a powerful way.
The Connection: Nurturing Your Bond
A Christ-centered marriage is also a deeply connected one. You have to be intentional about staying close.
- Listen more than you speak. James 1:19 reminds us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Truly hear your spouse’s heart, not just their words.
- Communicate with kindness. Your tone matters more than you think. Speak to your spouse with the same respect and kindness you’d show a cherished friend.
- Schedule regular date nights. Life gets busy. You must make time for just the two of you. It doesn’t have to be expensive. A walk in the park or a coffee date works wonders.
- Be your spouse’s biggest cheerleader. Encourage their dreams. Celebrate their successes. Let them know you believe in them more than anyone else.
- Celebrate the small wins. When I was losing weight, I celebrated every five pounds lost. It kept me motivated. Do the same in your marriage. Did you get through a tough conversation with grace? Celebrate it. Did you stick to your budget for a week? High-five each other. These small victories build momentum.
The Battle: Fighting For Your Marriage
Every marriage faces challenges. The key is to remember you’re on the same team.
- Fight for your marriage, not against your spouse. The problem is the enemy, not your partner. Join forces to attack the issue together.
- Admit when you're wrong. Two of the most powerful words in a marriage are "I'm sorry." Humble yourself, take responsibility, and ask for forgiveness.
- Create a budget together. Money is one of the top reasons couples fight. Get on the same page financially. It builds trust and reduces a massive amount of stress.
- Set healthy boundaries. This includes boundaries with work, extended family, and even technology. Protect your time and energy as a couple.
- Seek wise counsel when you need it. There is no shame in getting help. Talk to a pastor, a church elder, or a trusted Christian couple who has been married longer than you.
The Joy: Keeping the Spark Alive
God designed marriage to be a source of joy and companionship. Don’t forget to have fun.
- Laugh together often. Share a funny story from your day. Watch a clean comedy. Laughter is a gift that lightens the load and brings you closer.
- Speak words of appreciation. Don't just think it, say it. "Thank you for working so hard for us." "You are a great mom." "I appreciate you." These words are life-giving.
- Stay physically affectionate. Hold hands. Give hugs. A simple touch can communicate love and security in an instant.
- Dream together. Talk about your hopes for the future. Where do you want to be in five years? What do you want to accomplish for God's kingdom as a couple?
- Never stop pursuing each other. Don't take your spouse for granted. Keep learning about them, surprising them, and winning their heart, just like you did when you were first dating.
Your marriage won't transform overnight. It's built one small, prayerful step at a time. It's about progress, not perfection. It's about offering grace, just as you've been given grace.
So let me ask you this: What is one tip from this list you can put into practice today?
Just one. Start there, trust God, and watch what He does.
