I used to carry my past mistakes around like a heavy backpack. It was exhausting.
That weight you feel from looking back? I know it well. It’s the sting of words you wish you could take back. The ache of opportunities you missed. The frustration over time you feel you wasted. Regret can feel like an anchor holding you in a place you don’t want to be. But I want you to know you’re not stuck there. Letting go isn’t about forgetting the past. It’s about releasing its power over your present. It’s a journey I’m still on but I’ve learned a few things that help.
Acknowledge the Feeling
First things first you can’t heal what you don’t acknowledge. Pushing regret down or pretending it isn’t there only makes it stronger. It’s like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. Sooner or later it will pop up with even more force.
Instead give yourself permission to feel it. Sit with the discomfort for a moment. What exactly are you regretting? Why does it hurt? Understanding the source of the pain is the first step toward healing it. Talk about it with a trusted friend a family member or a pastor. Getting it out of your head and into the open can shrink it down to a manageable size.
Reframe Your Past
I spent years of my life stuck in unhealthy cycles. I was overweight addicted to gaming and just plain lazy. I could easily spend the rest of my life regretting all that lost time. I could beat myself up for all the years I wasn’t living the life God wanted for me.
But I choose not to.
Instead I see that dark period as the foundation for everything good in my life today. Without hitting that low point I never would have found the strength to lose over 110 pounds. I never would have discovered the joy of a productive routine or the deep satisfaction of a healthy lifestyle. I never would have been pushed to strengthen my faith and seek a real relationship with God.
Your past mistakes don’t have to be failures. They can be lessons. What did that painful experience teach you? Did it show you who your real friends are? Did it reveal a weakness you needed to work on? Did it clarify what you truly want out of life? Every setback can be a setup for a comeback if you choose to see it that way.
Take Action in the Present
Regret lives in the past but its antidote lives in the present. The single best way to stop looking backward is to start moving forward. Action creates momentum. It proves to yourself that you are not defined by your past choices. Here are some simple practical things you can do right now.
- Apologize if you need to. If your regret involves hurting someone else a sincere apology can bring release for both of you. You can’t control how they respond but you can control your own actions.
- Forgive yourself. This is often the hardest part. As a Christian I believe in God’s infinite grace and forgiveness. If God can forgive you who are you to hold a grudge against yourself? Accept that you are human you made a mistake and you deserve the same grace you would offer a friend.
- Create new memories. Your brain dwells on what’s familiar. If all your focus is on a negative past memory it will continue to dominate your thoughts. Get out and create new positive ones. Take a walk somewhere beautiful. Start a new project. Learn a new skill. Fill your life with so much good that the old regrets have less space to occupy.
- Serve someone else. When you’re stuck in your own head the best way out is to focus on others. Volunteer help a neighbor or do something kind for a family member. Serving others reminds you that you have value and can make a positive impact right now.
- Set one small goal. Don’t try to change your whole life overnight. Just pick one small thing. Want to be healthier? Go for a 10-minute walk today. That’s it. When I started my weight loss journey I didn’t think about losing 110 pounds. I thought about making one good food choice for my next meal. These small wins build confidence and create momentum.
Lean on Your Foundation
For me the ultimate tool for letting go is my faith. It’s the bedrock that keeps me steady when the waves of regret try to knock me over.
Prayer is powerful. It’s not a magic wand but it’s a direct line to God. I can hand over my anxieties my fears and my regrets. I can ask for strength and wisdom. There is incredible peace in knowing that you don’t have to carry your burdens alone.
Practicing daily gratitude has also been a game-changer. Every day I make a point to thank God for three specific things. It shifts my focus from what went wrong in the past to what is good in my life right now. It’s hard to stay stuck in regret when your heart is full of thanks.
Letting go is a process. It’s not a one-time decision. Some days will be easier than others. Be patient with yourself. You are moving forward one step at a time.
What is one small thing you can do today to loosen regret’s grip on your life?
