My phone used to be a weapon I turned on myself.
I’d scroll for hours watching other people live their "perfect" lives. Perfect bodies perfect vacations and perfect families. Each post felt like a small jab a reminder of everything I wasn't. It fueled my worst habits. I’d finish scrolling and feel so empty and worthless that I’d turn to binge eating or waste the day away with video games just to numb the feeling. Comparison told me I was lazy undisciplined and falling behind. It was a heavy weight and I carried it everywhere.
But that life isn't my life anymore. I learned that the game of comparison is rigged. You can never win. The only way to get free is to stop playing. It’s not easy but it is possible. It starts with realizing your journey is yours alone and it was given to you for a reason.
The Comparison Trap Is a Lie
Before we dive into the "how" let's get one thing straight. The lives you see online are highlight reels. You're comparing your everyday reality your struggles and your messy moments with someone else's curated collection of best-case scenarios. It’s like comparing a behind-the-scenes documentary to a movie trailer. They aren’t the same thing.
When I was over 110 pounds overweight I would look at fitness influencers and feel hopeless. I only saw their results not their years of discipline their struggles or their bad days. I had to stop looking at their finish line and start focusing on my own starting line. My journey was about taking one small step then another. That’s how real change happens. Not by wishing for someone else’s life but by building your own.
25 Ways to Break Free from Comparison
Think of this list as a toolbox. You don’t need to use every tool at once. Just pick one or two that speak to you today and start there.
- Recognize your triggers. Is it a specific app? A certain person’s account? Know what sets off the comparison spiral so you can be prepared.
- Compare you to you. The only healthy comparison is looking at how far you’ve come. Are you better today than you were yesterday? That’s the only scoreboard that matters.
- Remind yourself it’s a highlight reel. Say it out loud if you have to. "This is not their real life." It breaks the spell.
- Shift from "Why not me?" to "What's next for me?" One is a question of despair. The other is a question of action.
- Celebrate your small wins. When I was losing weight I celebrated losing the first five pounds more than I celebrated losing the fiftieth. Small wins build momentum and prove you’re making progress.
- Understand your God-given path is unique. God didn't create you to be a copy of someone else. He has a specific purpose for you that no one else can fulfill. Trying to live someone else's life is an insult to the one He gave you.
- Turn envy into inspiration. If someone has a quality you admire—like discipline or kindness—don’t envy their results. Get inspired by their character and ask yourself how you can build that in your own life.
- Curate your feed ruthlessly. The mute and unfollow buttons are your best friends. If an account consistently makes you feel bad about yourself get rid of it. No apologies needed.
- Set time limits on social media. Use your phone’s settings to lock you out of apps after a certain amount of time. 15-20 minutes is plenty.
- Have a "no-phone" first hour. Don’t start your day by looking at other people’s lives. Start it with prayer reading or quiet reflection. Own your morning.
- Replace scrolling with something better. When you feel the urge to scroll pick up a book listen to an uplifting podcast or step outside for a few minutes.
- Delete the worst-offending app for a week. See how you feel. You might be surprised by how little you miss it.
- Create before you consume. Write a journal entry work on a project or do your most important task of the day before you open social media.
- Start a simple gratitude journal. Every night write down three specific things you are thankful for. It’s impossible to feel envious and grateful at the same time.
- Pray for the people you envy. This one is powerful. It’s hard to have negative feelings toward someone you are actively asking God to bless. It reorients your heart from selfishness to love.
- Pray for contentment. Ask God to help you find joy and peace in what you have right now in the season you’re in.
- Serve someone else. Go out of your way to help a neighbor a family member or someone at church. Serving others gets you out of your own head instantly.
- Identify your own purpose. What are the gifts and talents God gave you? How can you use them? When you’re busy working on your own God-given mission you have less time to worry about what others are doing.
- Read Scripture daily. The Bible reminds you of your true worth. Your value is not based on your followers your job or your appearance. It is based on the fact that you are a child of God.
- Count your blessings. Look around you. A roof over your head food to eat people who care about you. Focus on the abundance you already have.
- Call a friend. Instead of scrolling through a hundred acquaintances' updates have a real conversation with one true friend.
- Invest in your church community. Real-life relationships are messy and imperfect. They are also far more rewarding than any online connection. Find people you can be real with.
- Share your struggles with someone you trust. Comparison thrives in secrecy. When you admit "I'm struggling with this" you break its power and invite real connection.
- Give a sincere compliment. When you see someone doing well tell them. Celebrating others’ wins without feeling threatened is a sign of true freedom.
- Be the friend you wish you had. Initiate the call. Send the encouraging text. Be a source of light for others and you’ll find it shines back on you.
This journey away from comparison is a daily walk not a one-time fix. I still have moments where I slip up. But now I have the tools to pull myself out. I can quickly recognize the lie and replace it with the truth. The truth is that my life my body my journey and my relationship with God are uniquely mine. And that is more than enough.
So let me ask you: What is one thing on this list you can do today to take back your joy?
