We all get knocked down don't we? Life has a funny way of testing our limits throwing curveballs when we least expect them. For a long time I felt like I was constantly on the mat struggling to get back up. I was battling gaming addiction binge eating and a general sense of being lost. Change felt like a distant dream. But here's what I learned: resilience isn't about avoiding the falls. It's about how we rise each time stronger and wiser. It's about building habits that help us weather any storm.
So let’s talk about some of the habits I’ve seen in truly resilient people and that I’ve tried to build in my own life.
They Face Their Truth
It’s tough to admit when we’re struggling. Really tough. I remember when I was deep in my unhealthy habits. I told myself the endless hours of gaming weren't that bad. I convinced myself the binge eating was just a temporary comfort. Denial is a cozy blanket but it keeps us stuck. Resilient people take that brave first step. They look honestly at their situation. They acknowledge the problem without letting it define them. This isn't about beating yourself up. It's about saying "Okay this is where I am. Now what can I do about it?" That honest look in the mirror was my starting line for turning things around.
They Anchor Themselves in Purpose
When life feels chaotic or meaningless it's easy to drift. Resilient people often find something bigger than themselves to hold onto. This gives them a "why" that fuels their "how". For me reconnecting with my Christian Orthodox faith was a game-changer. When I felt overwhelmed by my health issues and bad habits my faith provided a deep sense of purpose and direction. It reminded me that my struggles weren't pointless. They could be part of a larger journey of growth. Your anchor might be different. It could be your family your values your contribution to others. Find what gives your life meaning. Hold onto it tightly especially when the waves get rough.
They Lean on Their People
Trying to be a lone wolf during tough times is exhausting. And honestly it's often counterproductive. Resilient folks understand the power of connection. They build and nurture strong support systems. This could be close friends family members or people from their church community. These are the people who offer a listening ear a word of encouragement or practical help. They remind us we're not alone. Don't be afraid to reach out. Sharing your burdens doesn't make you weak. It actually shows strength and self-awareness.
They're Kind to Themselves
This one is so important yet often overlooked. When we stumble it's easy to fall into a spiral of self-criticism. "I'm such a failure." "I'll never get this right." Resilient people learn to silence that harsh inner critic. They treat themselves with the same compassion they'd offer a good friend who's struggling. This isn't about making excuses. It's about recognizing our shared humanity. We all make mistakes. We all have setbacks. Being kind to yourself means acknowledging the pain or frustration without letting it consume you. It means picking yourself up gently and trying again.
They Know Where Their Power Lies
So much in life is outside our control. We can't control the weather other people's actions or unexpected challenges. Trying to control the uncontrollable is a recipe for frustration. Resilient people focus their energy where it counts: on their own responses choices and actions. When I was working to lose over 110 pounds I couldn't magically make the weight disappear overnight. That was out of my control. But I could control what I ate each day. I could control whether I moved my body. Focus on your effort not just the outcome. Take charge of the things you can influence. Let go of the rest.
They Hold Onto Hope
Hope is a powerful force. It's not wishful thinking. It's a belief that things can and will get better even when the present moment is dark. Resilient people cultivate this hopeful outlook. Sometimes this hope is rooted in faith as it is for me. Other times it's fueled by past experiences of overcoming challenges. Remembering how I managed to break free from destructive habits and build a healthier life gives me a reservoir of hope to draw from when new difficulties arise. It's a reminder that change is possible and that hard times don't last forever. Look for reasons to be hopeful. They are always there even if they're small.
They Keep Moving Forward (The Power of Small Wins)
Resilience isn't about grand gestures. It's often built on small consistent actions. When faced with a mountain it's easy to feel paralyzed. Resilient people break down big challenges into manageable steps. They focus on making progress even if it's tiny. This is something I live by. My productive routine isn't about working 10-hour days. It's built on short bursts of focused work usually just 2 to 4 hours. And crucially I learned to celebrate small wins along the way. Did I choose a healthy meal? Win. Did I stick to my work block? Win. Did I spend a few moments in daily gratitude? Win. These little victories build momentum. They create a positive feedback loop that keeps you going.
Here’s how you can make this work for you:
- Identify one small positive action you can take today.
- Do it.
- Acknowledge that win no matter how minor it seems.
- Repeat tomorrow.
Building resilience is a journey not a destination. It's about showing up for yourself day after day especially when it's hard. These habits aren't quick fixes. They are practices that woven into your life can help you navigate anything life throws your way. You are stronger than you think. You have the capacity to bounce back.
So my friend what's one habit you feel drawn to work on? What one small step can you take today to start building that resilience muscle?
