Have you ever felt like happiness is just around the corner, yet somehow always out of reach?
I’ve been there too. Stuck in self-destructive habits like binge eating, drinking too much, and feeling lazy and unmotivated. I knew I wanted to feel better and live better, but something always seemed to block the way. Looking back, it wasn’t just bad habits or lack of willpower. A lot of it came down to beliefs I didn’t even know I had. Thoughts running in the background like a quiet hum telling me I wasn’t enough, that change was too hard, or that I didn’t deserve to be truly happy.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, unmotivated, or just a little off, it might not be your actions sabotaging you. It might be your beliefs. Here are four sneaky ones that held me back from happiness—and what finally helped me let them go.
1. “I’ll be happy when…”
This one is sneaky because it sounds so reasonable. “I’ll be happy when I lose 10 pounds, get that job, or finally move somewhere new.” We tell ourselves that happiness is waiting just beyond the next milestone.
But here’s the hard truth—it never arrives. Even when I lost over 110 pounds, I realized something strange. I still struggled with anxiety. I still had bad days. I had to learn that happiness doesn’t live in the future. It happens now, in the small choices we make every day.
Instead of chasing the next thing, ask yourself:
- What can I be grateful for today?
- What small action can I take that feels good right now?
- How can I enjoy the process instead of waiting for the finish line?
Celebrate the little wins. Smile at the progress you’ve made. Don’t wait for happiness. Create it now.
2. “I’m just not the kind of person who can…”
Fill in the blank: stick to a routine, eat healthy, pray daily, stay focused, wake up early.
This belief keeps so many people stuck. I used to tell myself I was just a lazy person. That I had no discipline. That I’d always be stuck in the cycle of gaming until 2am, overeating, and feeling terrible the next day.
But here’s what helped shift that mindset: I started acting like the person I wanted to be—even when I didn’t feel like it yet. I started small: just 10 minutes of deep work a day. One healthy meal. A short prayer in the morning. Those small changes started to build momentum. I wasn’t born productive or disciplined. I decided to become that person, one little action at a time.
You’re not fixed. You’re not stuck. You’re a work in progress like all of us. You can grow.
Try this:
- Don’t say, “I’m just not the kind of person who exercises.” Instead, say, “I’m learning to enjoy moving my body.”
- Don’t say, “I’m bad at routines.” Say, “I’m building habits that support the life I want.”
Changing how you talk to yourself changes everything.
3. “If I’m not perfect, what’s the point?”
Perfectionism looks noble on the surface. High standards, right? But underneath, it’s often fear—fear of failure, judgment, or not being enough.
This belief used to stop me before I even started. If I couldn’t follow the diet perfectly, I’d binge. If I skipped a workout, I’d give up for weeks. If I had a rough morning, I’d scrap the whole day.
But you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to keep showing up.
One of the biggest mindset shifts that helped me lose weight, stay consistent, and grow spiritually was realizing that a small win is still a win. One good choice matters. One prayer, one healthy meal, one moment of gratitude can change the direction of your day.
Progress happens when you keep going, even when it’s messy. Especially when it’s messy.
Instead of chasing perfection, try:
- Tracking small wins every day (even tiny ones)
- Saying “good enough” is still good
- Forgiving yourself quickly and moving on
Let go of perfect. Aim for better.
4. “Happiness means always feeling good”
This one fooled me for a long time. I thought if I was truly happy, I wouldn’t deal with sadness, boredom, struggle, or pain.
But that’s not real life.
Even now, after getting healthier, stronger in my faith, and more focused, I still feel stressed sometimes. I still have bad days. What’s changed is my relationship with those feelings. They no longer define me. I don’t run from them anymore.
Happiness doesn’t mean everything feels amazing all the time. It means you’re steady through the ups and downs. It means you’re grounded in purpose, faith, and gratitude—even when things feel hard.
For me, growing closer to God has been the foundation. When I finally surrendered and started truly praying, I realized I wasn’t alone in this. There’s something bigger holding me. That gave me the courage to face the hard stuff without giving up.
Here are a few things you can do when you're not feeling great:
- Take a deep breath and remind yourself it’s okay to feel what you feel
- Write down three things you’re grateful for
- Talk to a friend or pray and ask for peace
Happiness is not the absence of sadness. It’s the presence of meaning.
Final Thoughts
You don’t have to wait until everything is perfect to be happy. You don’t need to become a different person overnight. You don’t need to feel amazing every second of the day.
Happiness is built in the small steps. The daily effort. The quiet moments of choosing something better, even when it’s hard.
I believe God put that desire for peace and joy in your heart for a reason. Not so you could chase it endlessly, but so you could live it here and now.
So take a breath. Ask yourself, “What belief is holding me back today?” Pick one and gently challenge it. Then take one small step in a better direction.
You’ve got this. And you’re not alone.
