I used to think confidence was something you were either born with or just magically had one day. Turns out, it’s something you build—one small, awkward step at a time.
Honestly, I’ve had my fair share of confidence-shattering habits. I spent years binge gaming to escape my problems, overeating for comfort, and staying up late doing nothing productive. I wasn’t proud of who I was becoming. But little by little, through trial, error, and a lot of prayer, I started to change. And that change came with tools—simple things that helped me feel stronger, more capable, and more like myself.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, like you’re not good enough or can't change, I promise you—you’re not alone. And even better, you’re not helpless. Here are 10 tools that helped me build real self-confidence, and they can help you too.
1. Keep Promises to Yourself
This one’s huge. Confidence grows every time you follow through on what you said you’d do. It doesn’t have to be big either.
Start small. Tell yourself you’ll walk for 10 minutes after lunch, or drink a full glass of water when you wake up. Then do it.
I used to promise myself I’d stop gaming “tomorrow.” But when tomorrow came, I’d give in. Breaking those promises crushed my confidence. Everything changed when I made really small, doable commitments—and actually followed through. That’s when I started trusting myself again.
2. Celebrate Small Wins
You don’t need a perfect track record. Just progress.
Every time I lost a few pounds, I celebrated—not with food, but by reminding myself how far I’d come. That celebration could be a high-five in the mirror, a short journal entry, or just feeling thankful in prayer.
Confidence grows from these tiny victories, not from some big overnight transformation.
3. Get Comfortable Doing Hard Things
Confidence doesn’t come from avoiding discomfort. It comes from facing it and doing the thing anyway.
When I first tried waking up earlier, it sucked. So did starting workouts. Or deleting video games for good. But after doing hard things day after day, I felt unstoppable.
Try doing something challenging each day. Could be a workout, talking to someone new, or finally starting that project you've been avoiding. You get braver, one choice at a time.
4. Clean Up Your Environment
This one surprised me. When my room or workspace is cluttered, I feel off. It’s like chaos around me seeps into my brain.
Once I started keeping my space clean and organized, my mood and confidence picked up too. It’s a simple shift, but it gives you a sense of control.
You don’t have to go full minimalist. Just make your bed in the morning. Clear your desk. Throw out junk. You’ll feel better, fast.
5. Speak to Yourself Like a Friend
If your inner voice is mean, no wonder confidence feels so far away.
I used to call myself lazy, weak, or a failure. I didn’t even realize how nasty I was being. But beating yourself up doesn’t motivate you. It just makes you want to hide.
Now, I try to speak to myself like I would to a close friend. When I mess up, I don’t ignore it—but I also give myself some grace. Try it. The way you talk to yourself matters.
6. Limit Comparison
Social media can wreck your confidence in seconds. You see someone fitter, richer, or more successful and start feeling behind.
But we only ever see highlight reels. What you don’t see is their struggle, their doubts, their behind-the-scenes mess. Trust me, everyone has one.
I had to unfollow some accounts that made me feel miserable. Instead, I started focusing on my own journey. Who cares if someone else is 10 steps ahead? Your race is your own.
7. Spend Time with Encouraging People
You don’t need a huge circle to build confidence. You just need a few real ones.
Find people who encourage your growth, who remind you of your strengths, who speak life into you. If you’re constantly around people who tear you down—it’s draining.
For me, leaning into church community and honest friendships made a massive difference. Surround yourself with people who want to see you win.
8. Start a Gratitude Practice
Gratitude isn’t just a trend. It completely rewired the way I see life and myself.
Every night, I write down three things I’m thankful for. Sometimes it’s big stuff. Sometimes it’s as small as “I drank more water today” or “sunshine after a rainy week.” It doesn’t matter. What matters is the habit.
Feeling thankful builds confidence because it shifts your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right. And that mindset builds strength.
9. Do Short Bursts of Deep Work
Nothing builds confidence like making progress.
I used to try working for hours at a time. But I’d get exhausted, distracted, or discouraged. Once I switched to 2 to 4 hours of focused work (with breaks), everything clicked. I got more done and felt way more in control.
Try this: block off one hour today. Turn off your phone. Focus on one task. Then take a break. You’ll feel proud instead of drained.
10. Lean into Faith
This might be the most important one.
There was a time I felt so far from God, like I had to fix everything before I could come back. But faith doesn’t work like that. When I brought my struggles before Him—gaming, binge eating, unhealthy habits—I felt peace for the first time.
My confidence didn’t grow just because I “got my act together.” It grew because I realized I’m not doing this alone. Leaning on God gave me strength I never knew I had.
When I started praying daily, reading Scripture, and building my relationship with God, I didn’t feel lost anymore. I felt like I was finally walking in the right direction.
You don’t have to do this alone either.
If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and thought you’re not enough, I know how that feels. But here’s the truth—confidence isn't about being perfect. It’s about building trust with yourself, little by little, and knowing that with God by your side, anything is possible.
So here’s your first step. Pick one of the tools above. Just one. Try it today. Stick with it tomorrow. See what happens.
You’ve got more strength than you think.
Now go take one small step. What will it be?
