
Ever stare at a crossroads in life, big or small, and just freeze? I know that feeling all too well. For years, I made choices based on impulse or what felt easiest in the moment, and honestly, it rarely led anywhere good. Think countless hours lost to gaming when I should have been working, or reaching for another plate of unhealthy food instead of something that would actually nourish me. It was a tough cycle.
Learning to make better decisions wasn't some overnight magic trick. It was, and still is, a process. But here’s the good news: it's a skill. And like any skill, you can get better at it with practice and the right approach. Today, I want to share 8 steps that have genuinely helped me navigate choices more clearly and confidently. I really believe they can help you too.
1. Pinpoint the Real Choice
Sometimes the decision we think we need to make isn't the actual root issue. We get caught up in the surface-level stuff. For example, you might be agonizing over whether to buy a new gadget. But is that the real question? Or is it perhaps, "Am I trying to fill a void with this purchase?" or "Do I truly need this, or am I just looking for a quick thrill?"
I remember with my gaming addiction, the immediate decision often felt like, "Should I play one more hour?" But the real, underlying decision was much deeper: "Am I going to face my responsibilities and the discomfort that sometimes comes with them, or am I going to escape into a virtual world again?" Getting to the heart of the matter is the first crucial step.
2. Gather Smart Info (Not All of It)
Once you know the real decision you're facing, you'll likely need some information. The key word here is smart information. It’s easy to fall down a rabbit hole of endless research, leading to what they call "analysis paralysis." You have so much data you can't move.
On the flip side, making a choice with too little information can be just as problematic. Aim for a balance. Identify the key pieces of information you truly need to make an informed decision and focus on getting those. What are the essentials you need to know?
3. Check Your Inner Compass: Values and Goals
This one is huge. What truly matters to you? What are your core values? What are your long-term goals in life, work, or faith? A good decision will usually align with these things. A decision that pulls you away from them, even if it seems appealing in the short term, might be one to reconsider.
For me, when I finally committed to losing over 110 pounds and getting healthy, that decision was deeply connected to my rediscovered value for life itself. I wanted to be present, energetic, and capable – to live the kind of full life I believe God intends for us. That became my compass. My Christian Orthodox faith continues to be a huge guide here, shaping my values and what I aim for. When a decision aligns with that foundation, it feels right.
4. Brainstorm Your Options
Often, we see decisions as an either/or situation. Option A or Option B. But usually, there are more possibilities than we first realize. Take some time to brainstorm. What are all the potential paths you could take?
Don't censor yourself at this stage. Write down everything that comes to mind, even if some ideas seem a bit out there. Sometimes a less conventional option, or a combination of ideas, turns out to be the best one.
5. Weigh It Up (Logic and Gut)
Okay, now you have your options. It's time to look at them more closely. For your top few choices, consider the pros and cons. What are the potential benefits of each? What are the potential downsides or risks? Try to be as objective as you can.
But don't ignore your gut feeling. That quiet inner voice, that sense of peace about one option or unease about another, is often very insightful. For me, I see this as an important part of discernment, sometimes it's a gentle nudge from God. Logic is important, but so is that inner knowing.
6. Seek Wise Counsel
You don't have to make every decision in a vacuum. Talk to people you trust and respect – people who have your best interests at heart and who have a track record of good judgment. This could be a wise family member, a trusted friend, a mentor, or for me, often someone from my church community or my spiritual father.
The goal here isn't to have someone else make the decision for you. It's to gain different perspectives, to hear insights you might have missed, and to get an objective viewpoint. Sometimes just talking it through with someone else can bring amazing clarity.
7. Make the Call and Commit
There comes a point when you've gathered your information, considered your values, weighed your options, and sought counsel. Now, it's time to make the decision.
This can be the hardest part for some of us. We fear making the wrong choice. But often, indecision is more draining and damaging than making a decision that turns out to be less than perfect. Once you’ve done your due diligence, take a deep breath, make the call, and then commit to it. Move forward.
8. Reflect and Learn
Every decision, whether it leads to a great outcome or a challenging one, is a learning opportunity. This is so important. Don't just make the decision and forget about it. Afterwards, take some time to reflect.
If it went well, what did you do right? What parts of your decision-making process worked well? How can you apply that to future choices? If it didn't turn out as you hoped, what went wrong? What lessons can you take away? Be honest with yourself, but also be kind.
Believe me, I've made plenty of decisions I wish I could rewind, especially during my toughest times battling habits like binge eating and laziness. Each one, even the mistakes, taught me something crucial. They showed me where I was weak, where my priorities were mixed up, or where I needed to seek more support. That learning was absolutely essential for finally breaking free and building a healthier, more productive life. Those hard-won lessons are treasures.
Making good decisions is a cornerstone of living a good existence. It’s not about perfection, it’s about intention, learning, and growth. It’s about steering your life in a direction that aligns with who you want to be and what you believe.
So, what’s one decision you’re facing right now, big or small? Take a moment and think about which of these steps you can apply today to move forward with a bit more clarity and confidence. You’ve got this.