Life will hit you hard. It’s not a matter of if, but when.
I know that sounds heavy but it’s a truth we all face. I’ve been there. I’ve felt completely stuck in a pit of my own making. For me it was a cycle of gaming addiction binge eating and drinking. I felt lazy and lost. My days were a blur of unhealthy habits and I couldn't see a way out. Change felt impossible.
But it’s not. Resilience isn’t some superpower you’re born with. It’s a skill you build one day at a time one choice at a time. It’s about learning how to get back up after you’ve been knocked down. I managed to lose over 110 pounds and completely rebuild my life. It wasn't easy but I learned a few things along the way.
This isn't a list of magic tricks. It's a collection of real hard-won lessons that helped me find my footing. I hope they can help you too.
1. Accept What You Can't Control
This was the first and hardest step for me. I spent so much energy feeling angry about my situation and wishing things were different. True change only began when I accepted reality. I had to admit I had a problem. I had to accept that I couldn't change the past.
You can’t control the weather. You can’t control what other people do. You can’t control every event that happens to you. But you can always control your response. Focusing on what you can control your actions your attitude your choices is where your power lies.
2. Find Your Deeper Purpose
Why do you want to change? "Losing weight" or "being more productive" are good goals. But they often aren't strong enough to pull you through the tough days. You need a deeper reason.
For me that reason became my faith. I wanted to live a life that honored God and to use the body and mind He gave me well. This purpose became my anchor. When I wanted to give up I remembered my "why". It was bigger than just me. Find your reason. It will be the fuel that keeps your fire burning when you feel like quitting.
3. Focus on Small Wins
Looking at a goal like losing 110 pounds is completely overwhelming. It feels impossible. So I didn't focus on the 110 pounds. I focused on the next five.
I celebrated one day of healthy eating. I celebrated choosing a walk instead of an hour of gaming. These small wins build momentum. They prove to you that you can do it. Each small victory is a brick. You lay one at a time. Before you know it you’ve built something strong.
4. Build a Solid Routine
When life feels chaotic a routine is your best friend. It provides structure and stability. It also saves you from decision fatigue. You don’t have to wonder what to do next. You just do it.
My routine isn't about working 12-hour days. Far from it. I discovered I do my best work in short focused bursts of 2 to 4 hours. That's it. Building my day around this and other simple habits like prayer and exercise gave me a predictable framework. This structure helped me feel in control even when other things felt messy.
5. Take Care of Your Body
Your mind and body are connected. It’s hard to be mentally tough when you feel physically weak. I learned this the hard way. When I was overeating and not moving my mind was foggy and my mood was low.
Resilience requires energy. You get that energy from good food proper sleep and regular movement. You don’t need to become a marathon runner or a pro athlete. Just start with the basics. Go for a walk. Choose water over soda. Try to get to bed a little earlier. Taking care of your body is a sign of respect for the life you’ve been given.
6. Learn from Your Mistakes
You will mess up. You will have bad days. That’s guaranteed. A resilient mindset doesn’t mean you never fail. It means you don’t let failure define you.
I had plenty of days where I fell back into old eating habits. In the beginning I would let one bad meal ruin my entire week. I had to learn to see it differently. A mistake is just feedback. It’s a lesson. Ask yourself: What happened? Why did it happen? What can I do differently next time? Then forgive yourself and get right back on track with your next choice.
7. Practice Daily Gratitude
This might sound simple but it’s powerful. Our brains are wired to spot problems. Gratitude retrains your brain to spot the good things.
Every day I make a point to thank God for a few specific things. It could be something big or something as small as a good cup of coffee or a sunny day. This simple act shifts my perspective from what’s wrong in my life to what’s right. It builds a foundation of contentment and peace which is essential for a resilient spirit.
8. Connect with Good People
You can’t build a resilient life alone. We need other people. But we need the right people. Surround yourself with friends family or community members who support you and lift you up. Find people who are honest with you but also encourage you. Sharing your struggles with someone you trust makes the burden feel lighter.
9. Help Someone Else
When you're stuck in your own problems one of the best ways to get out of your head is to help someone else. It can be a small act of kindness or a bigger commitment. Serving others reminds you that you have something to offer. It gives you perspective on your own challenges and connects you to something larger than yourself.
10. Anchor Yourself in Faith
This is the most important point for me. My resilience is not my own. It comes from God. In my weakest moments when I felt completely alone turning to prayer gave me strength I didn't know I had.
My Christian Orthodox faith is not just a Sunday activity. It's the foundation of my entire life. It gives my suffering meaning my efforts purpose and my future hope. Knowing that I am not in this fight alone that God is with me gives me a profound sense of peace and courage. If you have a faith lean on it. It is a rock that will not move when the storms of life hit.
Building a resilient mindset is a journey not a destination. You are a work in progress and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself.
So I’ll ask you this: What is one small step from this list you can take today? Just one. Start there.
