Have you ever wondered why some people command attention without even trying?
They walk into a room and there’s just something about them. They seem calm confident and totally in control. That quality is often called "executive presence." It sounds a bit corporate and intimidating I know. But it’s not just for CEOs in boardrooms. It’s for anyone who wants to be taken seriously to feel more confident and to have their ideas heard.
It’s about showing up as the best version of yourself. It's about credibility and composure. I’ve been on a long journey to find that in myself. For years I was stuck in a cycle of bad habits. I was overweight addicted to gaming and just plain lazy. I felt powerless and invisible. Building presence in my own life started with taking control of the small things. It started with one decision to change. So believe me when I say this is something you can build one step at a time.
The Foundation: Your Inner Game
This is where it all begins. Your presence isn't a mask you put on; it comes from the inside out. It's about how you think and how you handle yourself when no one is watching.
- Be Decisive. Avoid saying "I don't know" or "I don't care" when asked for your opinion. Have a point of view. Even if you need a moment say "Let me think on that for a second" and then give an answer.
- Stay Calm Under Pressure. When things get chaotic be the steady hand. Take a deep breath before you react. This single habit can instantly change how people see you.
- Accept Feedback Gracefully. Don’t get defensive. Say "Thank you for that perspective" or "I appreciate you telling me that." It shows you’re secure enough to learn.
- Know Your 'Why'. Why are you doing what you do? Having a clear sense of purpose gives you a quiet strength. For me my Christian faith is my anchor. It gives my life meaning beyond my daily tasks and helps me stay grounded in what truly matters.
- Be Punctual. Being on time says you respect other people’s time and your own. It’s a simple sign of reliability.
- Take Responsibility. If you make a mistake own it. A simple "I dropped the ball on that but here's how I'll fix it" builds more trust than any excuse.
- Keep Your Promises. Do what you say you’re going to do. Your word is your bond and it’s the foundation of your reputation.
- Celebrate Small Wins. Confidence isn't built overnight. When I was losing weight I celebrated every five pounds lost. It built momentum. Acknowledge your progress no matter how small.
- Stop Complaining. Complaining drains your energy and makes you seem powerless. Focus on solutions not problems.
- Practice Gratitude. Taking a moment each day to be thankful for what you have shifts your focus from scarcity to abundance. It gives you a more positive and resilient outlook.
The Action: How You Show Up
Once your foundation is solid your inner confidence starts to show on the outside. This is about the non-verbal signals you send that tell the world you’re present and engaged.
- Stand Up Straight. Pull your shoulders back and lift your chin. Good posture instantly makes you look and feel more confident.
- Make Eye Contact. Don’t stare people down but hold a steady comfortable gaze when you’re talking or listening. It shows you’re engaged and honest.
- Use Purposeful Gestures. Avoid fidgeting. Instead use your hands to emphasize a point. Keep them calm and open when you’re not talking.
- Dress One Step Up. Look at how people in the position you want dress and aim for that. It’s not about expensive clothes; it’s about looking neat polished and appropriate.
- Perfect Your Handshake. A firm dry handshake is a classic sign of confidence. Not a bone-crusher and definitely not a limp fish.
- Take Up Space. Don’t shrink into a corner. Sit at the table not against the wall. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. Own your physical space.
- Walk with Purpose. Walk like you have somewhere important to be. A determined stride shows you have direction.
- Put Your Phone Away. When you’re with someone be with them. Having your phone out signals that something else is more important.
- Listen with Your Body. Face the person speaking. Nod to show you’re following. Lean in slightly. This makes the other person feel heard and respected.
- Smile Genuinely. A warm real smile makes you approachable and puts others at ease. It’s one of the most powerful tools you have.
The Connection: How You Communicate
How you use your voice and your words is the final piece of the puzzle. This is how you directly convey your ideas and connect with others.
- Speak Slowly and Clearly. Don’t rush your words. Pausing is powerful. It gives your words weight and gives you time to think.
- Cut Out Filler Words. We all do it. The "ums" "ahs" and "likes." Record yourself talking for one minute and see how often you use them. Then practice pausing instead.
- Ask Great Questions. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk. Ask thoughtful open-ended questions that show you’re listening and curious.
- Listen More Than You Speak. The most respected people are often the best listeners. They make others feel like the most important person in the room.
- Use a Lower Vocal Tone. When you get nervous your voice tends to get higher. Practice speaking from your diaphragm for a deeper more authoritative tone.
- Be Concise. Get to the point. Don't ramble. A clear direct message is always more powerful.
- Tell Stories. People connect with stories not data. Frame your ideas in a simple narrative to make them memorable.
- Call People by Name. Using someone’s name in conversation shows respect and helps build a personal connection.
- Share Credit Generously. When a team succeeds praise your colleagues publicly. It shows you’re a leader not just a solo act.
- End with a Clear Call to Action. When you lead a meeting or a conversation end by clearly stating the next steps. It shows you are in command and focused on results.
Building executive presence is a journey not a switch you flip. I know because I’m still on it every single day. The person I am now—confident healthy and purpose-driven—was built from the ruins of who I used to be. It was built by choosing to stand a little taller to speak a little slower and to keep one small promise to myself at a time.
You can do it too.
Don’t get overwhelmed by this list. Just pick one. What’s one small thing you can try this week to show up with a little more confidence?
