I used to be paralyzed by my own choices. Not just the big ones but the small ones too. What to eat for lunch. Whether to go to the gym. What to do with a free afternoon. Each decision felt like a test I was about to fail. This indecision kept me stuck in a cycle of bad habits for years—gaming, overeating, and just wasting time because choosing a better path felt too overwhelming.
Change felt impossible. But I learned that strengthening your decision-making is a skill not a gift. It’s like a muscle. The more you use it intentionally the stronger it gets. I had to learn to make one good choice and then another. Those choices stacked up, helping me lose over 110 pounds and build a life I’m proud of. It all starts with learning how to decide.
If you feel stuck, I get it. I’ve been there. Here are 12 ways I learned to make better, stronger decisions.
1. Make the Decision Smaller
Big goals are great but big decisions can be terrifying. Instead of asking “How do I get healthy?” ask “What is one healthy thing I can eat for my next meal?” Instead of “How do I build a business?” ask “What is the first small step I can take today?” Breaking it down makes the choice manageable. It turns a mountain into a small, single step.
2. Set a Deadline
Give yourself a time limit. Don’t let a decision linger for days or weeks if it doesn’t need to. For small things it might be five minutes. For bigger things a day or two. A deadline forces you to focus. It prevents you from getting lost in endless “what ifs.”
3. Limit Your Options
Too many choices lead to paralysis. If you’re trying to pick a new workout plan don’t research all 50 possibilities. Find three good ones compare them and pick one. If you’re deciding what to do on a Saturday morning think of two productive options not ten. Fewer options make the best choice clearer.
4. Redefine Failure
We’re often scared of making the “wrong” choice. But what if there is no wrong choice? What if every decision is just a chance to learn? Some decisions will lead to great outcomes. Others will teach you what not to do next time. See every choice not as a pass/fail test but as a lesson. This removes so much of the fear.
5. Trust Your Experience
People talk about a “gut feeling.” I think of it as the sum of all your past experiences. You’ve learned things over the years. You know what has worked and what hasn’t. When you have a strong pull toward one option after looking at the facts pay attention. Your experience is trying to tell you something.
6. Seek Wise Counsel
You don’t have to make big decisions alone. Talk to one or two people you trust and respect. A wise friend a mentor or a family member. Explain the situation and just listen to their perspective. They might see something you missed. Don’t ask everyone though. Too many opinions will only confuse you.
7. Think Long-Term
This was a game-changer for me. When I was struggling with binge eating I had to learn to stop making decisions based on how I felt in the moment. The immediate comfort of junk food was powerful. But I started asking myself: “What does the man I want to be in one year do right now?” That future version of me would choose the healthy meal. He would choose the workout. Making decisions for your future self is a powerful way to break bad habits.
8. Know Your Core Values
When you know what you stand for decisions become simpler. For me my Christian Orthodox faith is my foundation. When I face a tough choice I ask: “Does this decision align with my faith? Does it bring me closer to God or pull me further away?” Your core values might be family honesty or service. Write them down. Use them as a filter for your choices.
9. Don’t Decide When You’re Emotional
Never make a significant decision when you are angry sad or overly stressed. Emotions cloud your judgment. I learned this the hard way. I used to make my worst food choices when I was feeling down. Step away. Go for a walk. Pray. Get some sleep. Address the emotion first then come back to the decision with a clearer head.
10. Do Just Enough Research
Gathering information is good. But you can easily fall into the trap of “analysis paralysis” where you research so much that you never actually make a choice. Get the key facts you need to make an informed decision. Then stop. You will never have 100% of the information. Good decisions are made with good enough information and a little bit of faith.
11. Clarify the Real Problem
Sometimes we struggle with a decision because we’re trying to solve the wrong problem. You might be agonizing over which job offer to take. But maybe the real question is whether you want to stay in that career field at all. Take a moment to ask: “What is the real issue I’m trying to solve here?” Getting to the root of it makes the path forward much clearer.
12. Commit and Move Forward
Once you’ve made a thoughtful decision commit to it. Stop second-guessing. Pour your energy into making the choice work not into worrying if it was the right one. Every choice has its own set of challenges. Your job is to face them head-on. A decent decision that you fully commit to is far better than a “perfect” decision that you never act on.
Making better decisions isn’t about becoming a perfect human who never messes up. It’s about being intentional. It’s about learning from your life and moving with purpose instead of drifting. You build a good life one choice at a time.
So let me ask you: What is one small decision you can make today to move you closer to the person you want to become?
