20 Tips for Building Fortitude

I used to think some people were just born tough. Turns out, I was wrong.

Life has a way of testing you, right? It can feel like a relentless storm. For years, I was stuck in a cycle I couldn’t break. I was drowning in bad habits like binge eating, gaming for hours on end, and just pure laziness. I felt weak and completely out of control. I thought this was just who I was.

But strength, true fortitude, isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build. It’s a muscle you develop through intentional practice, one day at a time. I learned this on my long journey of losing over 110 pounds and reclaiming my life. It wasn't about one grand gesture. It was about thousands of small decisions that slowly built me into a stronger person.

If you feel stuck, I want you to know there is a way forward. Here are 20 tips that helped me build fortitude from the ground up.

Start with Your Mindset

Your inner world shapes your outer reality. Before you can change your actions, you have to change your thoughts.

1. Accept what is. You can't change the past. You can't control everything that happens to you. Fighting reality is exhausting. Acknowledge where you are right now without judgment. This is your starting point.

2. Focus on your circle of control. You can’t control the economy, the weather, or what other people do. But you can control your response. You can control what you eat, when you go to bed, and how you speak to others. Pour your energy there.

3. Know your "why." Why do you want to be stronger? For your family? For your health? For your purpose in God? My faith became my ultimate "why." Knowing I was working toward something greater than myself gave me a reason to get up when I wanted to quit.

4. Practice daily gratitude. When you feel down, it's easy to see only what's wrong. Every day, I make a point to thank God for three simple things. A warm cup of coffee. A quiet morning. The ability to walk. It shifts your entire perspective from lack to abundance.

5. See failure as a lesson. You will mess up. You will have bad days. Instead of beating yourself up, ask: "What can I learn from this?" Every stumble is a chance to learn how to walk better.

6. Embrace discomfort. Growth is not comfortable. Leaning into a tough workout, resisting a craving, or having a difficult conversation—these are the moments that build strength. Your comfort zone is a nice place to visit, but nothing ever grows there.

7. Be patient with yourself. You didn't get here overnight, and you won't build fortitude overnight. This is a long game. Trust the process and be kind to yourself along the way.

Turn Thoughts into Action

A strong mindset is nothing without action. This is where you put in the work and start seeing real change.

8. Start ridiculously small. When I decided to lose weight, the idea of losing 110 pounds was crushing. So I didn't focus on that. I focused on drinking one more glass of water today. Or walking for just five minutes. Small, achievable actions build momentum.

9. Build a simple routine. You don’t need a complicated, rigid schedule. My most productive days come from just 2–4 hours of focused, deep work in the morning. A simple routine frees up mental energy because you don't have to decide what to do next. It's already decided.

10. Move your body. You don't have to become a bodybuilder. Just walk. Stretch. Lift something heavy. Physical strength and mental strength are deeply connected. When you prove to yourself that your body is capable, your mind follows.

11. Celebrate the small wins. Did you choose a healthy meal? Did you get out of bed without hitting snooze? Acknowledge it. Celebrate it. These small victories are the fuel that keeps you going on the hard days. They prove you are making progress.

12. Do hard things on purpose. Take a cold shower. Wake up a little earlier. Do the task you’ve been dreading first. Intentionally doing things that are uncomfortable in a controlled way trains your mind to handle the unexpected discomforts life throws at you.

Find Strength Beyond Yourself

You don’t have to do this alone. True, lasting fortitude comes from a source much bigger than our own willpower.

13. Lean on God. For me, this is everything. My own strength fails. It always will. But leaning on God is where I find a strength that never runs out. Through prayer, I can hand over the worries I can’t carry. My Christian Orthodox faith teaches me that God works with my effort. I do my small part, and He provides the grace and strength to see it through.

14. Connect with your community. Find people who build you up. Your family, your close friends, your church community. We were not made to go through life alone. Sharing your struggles with trusted people makes the load feel lighter.

15. Serve someone else. When you’re trapped in your own problems, the best way out is to help someone else with theirs. It shifts your perspective and reminds you that you have something valuable to offer the world.

16. Practice forgiveness. Holding onto anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. Forgive others for their sake, but mostly for yours. And don't forget to forgive yourself for past mistakes.

17. Limit your inputs. Be mindful of what you consume—the news, social media, and negative conversations. Constant negativity drains your fortitude. Protect your peace.

18. Eat real food. What you eat directly affects your mood and energy. You can't build a strong mind and body on a diet of junk. Fuel yourself with real, whole foods. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

19. Protect your sleep. Sleep is not a luxury. It is essential. It's when your body and mind recover and repair. A lack of sleep makes every challenge feel ten times harder. Prioritize it.

20. End your day in prayer. Before you go to sleep, take a moment to reflect on the day and give thanks. Release your anxieties and fears to God. It brings a sense of peace that allows you to rest and face the next day with renewed strength.

Building fortitude is a journey, not a destination. It’s about getting back up one more time than you fall. It’s about choosing a better path, one small step at a time.

So, let me ask you: What is one small thing you can do today to start building your fortitude?