I used to wake up dreading the day. Not because something awful was happening—but because I just didn’t feel happy.
Everything looked fine on the outside. I had things to be grateful for, but that heavy cloud just hung over me. If you’ve felt it too, I get it. Chasing happiness can feel like trying to catch smoke with your hands.
But here’s what I’ve learned: happiness is less about what we have and more about how we think, act, and live each day.
Stop Waiting for “One Day” to Arrive
Have you ever told yourself, “I’ll be happy when…” I used to think happiness would show up once I lost weight, made more money, or kicked all my bad habits.
But "one day" isn’t a finish line. It keeps moving further away.
It wasn’t until I hit my lowest point—overeating, binge drinking, playing video games for 12 hours straight—that I realized the problem wasn’t the world around me. It was my mindset. I was outsourcing my happiness to some future version of myself.
Start today instead. Ask yourself, “What small thing can I do right now that nudges me in the direction of a better life?”
Build a Simple, Steady Routine
One of the most powerful changes I made was building a daily routine I could trust. Not one powered by hype or motivation, but one that kept me grounded.
When I started waking up early—even just 30 minutes earlier—I had time to pray, reflect, and plan my day. Your routine doesn’t need to look like mine. What matters is that it works for you.
Here’s what helped me build mine:
- Choose a wake-up time and try to stick to it, even on weekends
- Set a short list of morning habits (stretching, prayer, reading, journaling)
- Do one productive thing early (it builds momentum for the rest of the day)
I work in deep, focused bursts of 2 to 4 hours, then step away. That helps me avoid burnout and allows time for real life—family, walks, quiet time, whatever refreshes my mind.
Habits become joy when you don’t have to force them.
Celebrate the Little Things
When I started losing weight (eventually over 110 pounds), it didn’t come from massive, life-altering changes. It came from small wins. Like choosing water over soda. Going for a walk instead of watching TV. Eating at home instead of ordering fast food again.
Each small victory became a statement: “I’m not giving up on myself today.”
So celebrate those small wins. Did you get out of bed when you wanted to stay under the covers? That’s a win. Did you avoid that bag of chips after dinner? Another win.
These wins snowball. They build self-respect.
And when you respect yourself, it’s hard not to feel proud… and happier.
Stop Trying to Do It Alone
I thought I was supposed to figure life out by myself. Be tough. Be independent. But that mindset crushed me.
What finally helped was faith—and connection. Through my journey back to my Christian Orthodox roots, I found peace in something bigger than myself. I stopped carrying everything alone because I didn’t have to. Daily prayer and God’s presence gave me clarity and courage.
Friendships helped too. Real ones. People I was honest with—about my struggles, relapses, and doubts. Even if it’s just one person, find someone you can be real with. Happiness doesn’t grow in isolation. It grows in community.
Trade Numbness for Meaning
Let’s be honest. A lot of the stuff we do for “fun”—scrolling for hours, binge-watching shows, gaming—doesn’t really make us happy. It just keeps us busy enough to avoid thinking too much.
I used to disappear into those behaviors. And after? I felt worse. Empty. Ashamed.
Happiness lives in doing things with meaning. That doesn’t mean we have to meditate on a mountaintop or write a novel. Meaning can come from:
- Helping someone without expecting anything back
- Talking to God when you feel lost
- Making something with your hands
- Cleaning your space and taking care of what you have
- Doing work that matters, even if it’s hard
If something feels empty even while you do it, it probably isn’t fueling your happiness. Try something more meaningful instead—something that leaves your soul a little fuller afterward.
Practice Gratitude Like It’s a Skill (Because It Is)
I used to think gratitude was cheesy. Something people forced when they felt bad.
But it changes your focus. When I started writing three things I was thankful for each night, I began noticing little things throughout the day. A warm drink. A kind word. A walk without my phone.
Gratitude doesn't erase hard times. It reminds you there’s still beauty in the middle of it.
You don’t even need a journal. Just whisper, “Thank you” once or twice a day with real heart. Over time, you’ll feel lighter.
Don’t Wait to Feel Happy. Live in a Way That Builds It.
Happiness isn’t a mystery. It’s not a gift some people have and others don’t.
It comes from the choices we make every day. The thoughts we allow. The actions we take, even when we don’t feel like it.
You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Just take one small step today toward the person you want to be.
Ask yourself this: What’s one tiny thing I could do right now to make today a little better?
Do that. Root yourself in the present. And remember, you don’t need to feel perfect to live a good, happy, and meaningful life.
You've got this.
And if you stumble, don’t worry. So did I. Stephen Montagne, the founder of Good Existence, didn’t become a healthier, happier person overnight either.
One step at a time. That’s all it takes.
What’s your one step today?
