Ever feel that little voice inside whispering you’re not quite good enough? Yeah, most of us have been there. That nagging feeling, that shadow of doubt – it’s insecurity, and it’s a surprisingly common guest in our minds. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to let it overstay its welcome.
At GoodExistence.com, we believe in finding practical ways to live a better life. Stephen Montagne, our founder, knows a thing or two about battling inner demons. He overcame habits like excessive gaming, binge eating, and drinking. He lost over 110 pounds and built a life filled with purpose, health, and faith. His journey shows that change is possible, one step at a time. So let’s talk about how you can start to quiet those insecurities and step into your own good existence.
Getting Real About Insecurities
First off, let’s get one thing straight: feeling insecure doesn’t make you weak or flawed. It makes you human. We all have moments, or even seasons, where we doubt ourselves, compare ourselves to others, or fixate on what we think we lack.
Sometimes these feelings bubble up from past experiences – a critical comment that stuck, a setback that stung, or maybe just growing up in a world that constantly shows us airbrushed versions of reality. The key is to acknowledge these feelings without letting them define you. They are just feelings, not facts.
Shine a Light on Your Inner Critic
We all have an inner critic. You know, that voice that’s quick to point out flaws and magnify mistakes. Learning to challenge this voice is a game-changer. When that negative thought pops up, pause. Ask yourself: Is this thought 100% true? Is there another way to look at this situation?
Often, our inner critic is just an echo of old fears or someone else's outdated opinions. You don't have to believe everything you think. Stephen often talks about how he had to challenge the belief that he couldn't change his unhealthy habits. Thoughts like "I'll always be this way" were strong. But he learned to question them and replace them with "I can try something different today."
Focus on Your Strengths and What You Control
Insecurity loves to make us zero in on our perceived weaknesses. Let’s flip that script. What are you good at? What qualities do you like about yourself? Maybe you’re a kind friend, a creative thinker, or incredibly resilient.
Make a list. Seriously, write it down. It doesn’t matter how big or small these strengths seem. When insecurities flare up, this list can be a powerful reminder of your worth. You can't control what others think or do, but you can control your focus and your actions. Channel your energy into what you can influence.
The Incredible Power of Small Steps
Big changes rarely happen overnight. Confidence isn’t something you just find; it’s something you build, action by action. This is where Stephen’s journey really shines a light. Losing over 110 pounds (that’s more than 50 kilograms!) wasn’t about a drastic, unsustainable overhaul. It was about consistent small wins. One healthier meal choice. One short walk that turned into a longer one. One day choosing water over a sugary drink.
He applied this same principle to building a productive routine. Instead of trying to force himself into eight hours of grueling work, he focused on short bursts of deep work, maybe just 2-4 hours. These focused periods, followed by celebrating the completion of tasks, built momentum.
Think about one insecurity you’re facing. What’s one tiny, manageable step you can take today to challenge it or build confidence in that area?
- Identify the insecurity.
- Think of one small, concrete action.
- Do that action.
- Acknowledge that you did it. Even a mental pat on the back counts.
Treat Yourself with Kindness
This one is huge. How often do you talk to yourself in a way you’d never dream of talking to a friend? If a friend was struggling with insecurity, you’d offer support and encouragement, right? Try offering that same compassion to yourself.
Mistakes will happen. Setbacks are part of growth. They aren’t proof that you’re not good enough. They’re just proof that you’re trying. Stephen often mentions that his path wasn't a straight line. There were days he slipped up with his eating or felt that old pull of laziness. The key was self-compassion – forgiving himself and getting back on track without a mountain of self-blame.
Finding Your Anchor
For many, including Stephen, a deeper sense of purpose or faith can be a powerful anchor against the storms of insecurity. Strengthening his Christian Orthodox faith and building a closer relationship with God provided him with immense strength, perspective, and a sense of purpose beyond his personal struggles.
Your anchor might be faith, spirituality, a connection with nature, your values, or a mission that’s bigger than yourself. When insecurities try to pull you under, this anchor can help you stay grounded and remember what truly matters. Stephen also found that practicing daily gratitude – consciously appreciating the good things in his life, no matter how small – shifted his focus from what was lacking to what he already had. This simple practice can dramatically change your outlook.
Celebrate Your Progress (Especially the Small Stuff!)
Remember those small steps? Celebrate them! Did you speak up in a meeting when you felt nervous? Awesome. Did you try a new healthy recipe? Fantastic. Did you resist an old unhealthy habit? That’s a win!
Stephen made it a point to celebrate small wins. This isn't about throwing a party for every little thing (unless you want to!). It's about acknowledging your effort and progress. This recognition reinforces positive behaviors and builds a sense of accomplishment, which is a fantastic antidote to insecurity. It trains your brain to look for the good and to recognize your own capabilities.
Overcoming insecurities is a journey, not a destination. There will be good days and challenging days. The goal isn't to eliminate insecurity forever – it’s to learn how to manage it, to lessen its power over you, and to keep moving forward with courage and self-compassion.
So, what’s one small, kind thing you can do for yourself today as you navigate your own feelings of insecurity? What tiny step forward feels possible for you right now? Take that step. You’ve got this.
