You’ll never feel confident chasing someone else’s life.
Sounds harsh, but it’s true. If you’re constantly looking left and right, measuring yourself against what others have, do, or look like, you’ll never feel good about your own progress. I know because I did it for years.
Comparison Almost Broke Me
I used to scroll through social media watching people post about their perfect lives. They had six-pack abs, successful businesses, dream vacations, and spotless morning routines. Meanwhile, I was stuck in a loop of binge eating, endless gaming, smoking, drinking, and feeling sorry for myself.
Every post made me feel like I was falling further behind. Like I wasn’t enough.
But here’s the twist. When I stopped comparing and started looking inward, everything changed.
Why We Compare (And Why It Hurts)
It’s human nature. We look around to see how we’re doing. But somewhere along the way, this turned toxic. Social media made it worse. Now we only see people’s highlight reels. Not the messy behind-the-scenes stuff.
The thing is, comparison doesn’t motivate us most of the time. It drains us.
- It makes us feel like failures, even when we’re making progress.
- It distracts us from our goals by shifting our focus to others.
- It kills joy in the present, because we think we need to be somewhere else.
You can't win a race running in someone else's lane.
Your Journey Is Yours Alone
When I finally hit rock bottom, physically and mentally, I had to make a decision. Was I going to keep looking at everyone else’s lives? Or was I ready to take responsibility for my own?
I started small.
- Went for daily walks instead of binge eating.
- Cut down on smoking and drinking.
- Replaced a few minutes of scrolling with prayer and self-reflection.
- Woke up a little earlier to journal and plan my day.
No dramatic transformation overnight. Just small choices that kept adding up.
Over time, I lost over 110 pounds. But even more important, I built a life that actually felt like mine.
How to Stop Comparing Today
This isn’t about never feeling jealousy or doubt again. We’re human after all. But you can catch yourself early and shift your mindset.
Here’s what helped me:
1. Start Your Day With Gratitude
Before you pick up your phone, take 1 minute to name three things you’re grateful for. Say them out loud or write it down.
It sounds cheesy, but it works. Gratitude centers you. It trains your brain to look at what’s right instead of what’s missing.
2. Unfollow, Mute, or Take a Break
If certain pages or people make you feel worse about your life, quietly hit unfollow or mute. You don’t owe anyone access to your mind.
Not everyone you follow has bad intentions. But even “motivational” content can make you feel inadequate if you're not in a good place mentally.
Stay in your own lane. Protect your peace.
3. Compare With Who You Were Yesterday
The only comparison that matters is how you’re doing compared to your past self.
Did you drink one less soda today? That’s a win.
Went for a walk instead of a Netflix binge? Huge.
It doesn’t matter how small the step is. If it’s forward, you’re moving in the right direction.
4. Build a Routine That Works for YOU
Not everyone is wired the same. I used to think I had to grind 12 hours a day to get anything meaningful done. But that would just leave me exhausted and burned out.
Now I stick to 2 to 4 hours of focused deep work. Then I move my body, go outside, pray, rest, and spend time with the people I care about.
You don’t have to copy someone else’s life. Design a routine that fits your values, energy, and purpose.
5. Return to Your Why
When I recommitted to my Christian Orthodox faith, I stopped needing outside validation. I found a sense of peace and purpose that didn’t depend on how others saw me.
Faith grounded me.
When you know your “why” comes from something bigger than yourself, the noise around you doesn’t feel so important anymore.
You stop chasing applause. You start living with meaning.
You’re Already Enough
It’s easy to forget, especially in a world that keeps telling you to do more and be more. But hear this: you’re not here to live someone else’s life. You’re here to live yours.
Start now.
Pause for a second and ask yourself:
- Where have I been growing lately?
- What small thing can I celebrate today?
- What’s one habit I can practice that reflects my values, not someone else’s?
Take one simple action. Mute a toxic account. Go for a walk. Say a quick prayer. Write down what you’re grateful for.
You’d be amazed at how small steps lead to big changes.
Stop comparing. Start living.
God created you with a purpose. That’s more than enough.
