Ever feel like your biggest dreams are just out of reach, no matter how hard you wish for them? You're not alone. We all have goals, those big shiny destinations we want to arrive at. But here’s a little secret: goals are great for direction but habits are the vehicle that actually gets you there.
Think about it. A goal like "lose weight" or "be more productive" is fantastic. But how do you actually do it? You don't just magically wake up lighter or more focused. It’s the small things you do every single day that add up. It's about transforming those big aspirations into everyday, almost automatic actions. That’s where the real magic happens.
I know this journey firsthand. Our founder here at GoodExistence.com Stephen Montagne, shares his story openly. He once struggled with gaming addiction binge eating and a generally unhealthy lifestyle. His goal wasn't just to stop these things. His goal was to build a life of purpose and well-being. That meant changing his daily patterns. He lost over 110 pounds not by some grand gesture but by building consistent habits around healthy eating and movement. He built a productive routine not by forcing himself into 8-hour slogs but by discovering the power of short focused bursts of work.
From "I Want To" to "I Am"
One of the biggest shifts is moving from "I want to do X" to "I am the kind of person who does X." It’s an identity shift. Instead of "I want to lose weight" try "I am a person who eats healthy foods and enjoys moving my body." See the difference? It’s subtle but powerful.
When Stephen decided to overcome his unhealthy habits he didn’t just focus on stopping the bad. He focused on becoming a person who lived a balanced life. This meant building new identities: a healthy eater a productive worker a man of faith. This reframing makes it easier to choose actions that align with who you want to be.
Start Ridiculously Small
Big goals can be overwhelming. If your goal is to write a book thinking about the entire manuscript can be paralyzing. But what if your habit was to write just 100 words a day? That’s manageable right?
Stephen didn’t lose 110 pounds overnight. It started with small changes. Maybe it was choosing water over soda. Or walking for 10 minutes. These tiny actions might seem insignificant alone. But compounded over time they lead to massive results. He learned to celebrate these small wins. Each one built momentum and belief. This is key. Don’t despise the day of small beginnings. Those tiny steps are your building blocks.
What's one tiny thing you can do today? So small it feels almost too easy? Start there.
Consistency Beats Intensity Every Time
We often think we need these heroic bursts of effort to achieve our goals. We go hard at the gym for a week then burn out. We work 12-hour days on a project then crash. Sound familiar?
The truth is consistency is far more powerful than intensity. Showing up every day even for a short while builds the habit muscle. Stephen found that short bursts of deep work usually 2 to 4 hours were far more effective than trying to grind all day. The consistency of this focused work built his productivity. It’s like dripping water. One drop doesn’t do much but over time it can carve through rock.
Focus on showing up. Don’t worry about perfection. Just do the thing.
Build Your Habit Stack
One great way to build new habits is to stack them onto existing ones. This is called habit stacking. Already brush your teeth every morning? Great. Stack a new habit onto it like "After I brush my teeth I will do 10 push-ups" or "After I brush my teeth I will read one page of a book."
Here are a few more ideas to help you build your habit toolkit:
- Set Clear Triggers: Decide when and where you’ll do your habit. "After I finish my morning coffee I will meditate for 5 minutes at my kitchen table."
- Make it Obvious: Want to drink more water? Keep a water bottle on your desk. Want to read more? Put a book on your pillow.
- Make it Attractive: Pair a habit you want to build with something you enjoy. Listen to your favorite podcast while you go for a walk.
- Make it Easy: Reduce friction. Lay out your gym clothes the night before. Prepare healthy snacks in advance.
- Make it Satisfying: Reward yourself immediately after completing the habit. This could be as simple as mentally patting yourself on the back or tracking your progress on a chart. Stephen celebrates small wins this is a powerful satisfier.
When You Stumble (and You Will)
Let's be real. You’re going to miss a day. You’re going to slip up. It happens to everyone. The key is not to let one missed day turn into two or a whole week.
Perfection is not the goal. Progress is. If you miss a workout don’t beat yourself up. Just get back to it the next day. Stephen’s journey wasn’t a straight line. There were setbacks. But he learned to treat them as learning opportunities not failures. His strengthening Christian Orthodox faith also provided a foundation of grace and resilience helping him find purpose and get back up when things got tough.
Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge the slip-up learn from it and recommit to your habit.
Your "Why" Is Your Fuel
Why do you want to achieve this goal in the first place? What’s the deeper reason? Knowing your "why" is crucial because it’s the fuel that will keep you going when motivation wanes.
Is it for your health? Your family? Your peace of mind? To live a life of purpose?
Stephen found profound purpose through his faith and a closer relationship with God. This became a powerful "why" that underpinned his desire for a healthier more disciplined life. Daily gratitude also became a habit that constantly reconnected him to his "why" appreciating the progress and blessings along the way.
Connect your habits to your core values. When your habits are aligned with what truly matters to you they become less of a chore and more of an expression of who you are and what you believe.
So what's one goal you have right now? And what's one tiny habit you can start today to move towards it? Don't just think about it. Pick one small thing. Just one. And do it. You might be surprised where that one small step can lead.
