15 Breaking Free from Approval Addiction

I used to live my life for other people's applause. It was exhausting.

Every decision felt like it was being run through a filter: What will they think? Will they like this? Will they approve of me? I was a chameleon changing my colors to fit whatever room I walked into. I said yes when I meant no. I stayed quiet when I wanted to speak up. And at the end of the day I felt hollow because the person everyone seemed to like wasn't even me.

I see now how much of my old life was tied to this need for approval. The binge eating the hours lost to video games the laziness. These were my ways of coping with the anxiety of not measuring up. I was seeking comfort and validation in all the wrong places because I didn't know how to find it in myself or more importantly in God.

Breaking free from this cycle wasn't an overnight fix. It was a slow and sometimes painful process of unlearning. But it was the most freeing journey I've ever taken. It’s a path toward living an authentic life one that feels true and grounded. If you feel stuck in that same trap I want to share what helped me.

15 Ways to Break Free from Approval Addiction

Here are 15 practical steps that helped me stop living for others and start living for a greater purpose.

1. Know Who You're Trying to Please. Take a moment and get specific. Is it your parents a certain group of friends your boss or maybe even strangers on social media? Naming them takes away their power. You realize you're often trying to please a vague idea of "everyone" which is impossible.

2. Understand Your "Why." Ask yourself why their approval matters so much. Is it about security? Fear of being alone? Fear of failure? Often this need is rooted in a deeper fear. Acknowledging that fear is the first step to facing it.

3. Define Your Core Values. What truly matters to you not to anyone else? Honesty? Faith? Family? Kindness? Write them down. When you have to make a decision check it against your list of values not against the court of public opinion.

4. Practice Saying "No." Start small. Say no to a request you don't have time for. Say no to an invitation you're not excited about. Each "no" to something that isn't right for you is a "yes" to your own well-being. It will feel uncomfortable at first. Do it anyway.

5. Stop Explaining Yourself. You don't owe everyone a detailed explanation for your choices. "No thank you" is a complete sentence. You can be polite without over-explaining your boundaries.

6. Anchor Yourself in Something Bigger. For me this was strengthening my relationship with God through my Christian Orthodox faith. I realized that if I was living for an audience of One the opinions of the crowd mattered a whole lot less. Finding your worth in God’s unconditional love is the ultimate antidote to needing human approval.

7. Spend Time Alone. You can’t know what you want if you’re constantly surrounded by the noise of other people's expectations. Go for a walk sit in a quiet room or just drive without the radio on. Get comfortable with your own company.

8. Clean Up Your Social Media. Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate or pressured to be someone you're not. Your feed should be a source of encouragement or information not a constant reminder of how you don't measure up.

9. Find Your People. Surround yourself with friends and family who love you for who you actually are not for the version of you that agrees with them. True friends will respect your "no" and challenge you to be better not different.

10. Separate Disagreement from Rejection. Someone disagreeing with your opinion is not a rejection of you as a person. Healthy relationships can handle different viewpoints. It's okay to agree to disagree.

11. Celebrate Your Small Wins. This was huge for me. When I was losing over 110 pounds I didn't wait until I hit my final goal to be happy. I celebrated losing the first five pounds. I celebrated choosing a healthy meal. These small wins built my confidence from the inside out proving I could rely on myself.

12. Do Things You Genuinely Enjoy. Pick up a hobby or an activity just because it brings you joy not because it looks good on Instagram or impresses someone. Do it for the simple pleasure of it. This teaches you to value your own happiness.

13. Set Your Own Goals. What do you want to achieve for yourself? My goal wasn't just to lose weight it was to build a sustainable healthy lifestyle. My goal wasn't to look busy for others but to build a productive routine that worked for me with short bursts of deep work. When your goals are your own the motivation comes from within.

14. Practice Daily Gratitude. Each day take a moment to thank God for what you have. This shifts your focus from what you lack or what others have to the abundance already in your life. A grateful heart is less concerned with seeking more from others.

15. Accept That Not Everyone Will Like You. This is a tough one but it’s the truth. And it is incredibly freeing. You could be the kindest most perfect person in the world and someone would still find a reason not to like you. That’s okay. It’s not your job to win them over. Your job is to be faithful to God and true to the person He created you to be.

Breaking free from approval addiction isn’t about becoming cold or selfish. It's about becoming authentic. It's about building a life so rooted in your values and your faith that the shifting winds of other people's opinions can't knock you over. It's about trading the exhausting job of people-pleasing for the joyful freedom of being yourself.

So I'll leave you with a question: What is one small decision you can make this week based on your own values instead of someone else's expectations?